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Losing A Child Is One Of The Most Traumatic Events Any Parent Can Face In Their Lifetime, So How Do We Cope With The grief That Follows The Loss? Coping With Losing A Child Is Difficult To Understand. Ordinarily, when it comes to the subject of grief, we often go through certain stages of grief, between 5 and 7 steps in fact, where the natural process of grief plays out in a natural humanistic process. While this process can be the case when dealing with the grief that accompanies coping with losing a child, the process can be incredibly muddled, and that is totally ok. The loss of a child is potentially one of the most traumatic events that any parent faces in their lifetime, and it is said that we never expect to outlive our children. Unfortunately, it is a reality for some parents, and the grieving process can take many years to get to the point where a normal way of living can resume without feeling intense pain and sorrow. For some parents, those intense feelings never, ever go away; and that is ok too. What Is Grieving? Grieving is incredibly personal, and when you ask people what they feel when they feel grief, it can encompass such a wide range of emotions and feelings, such as: Emptiness Sadness Loss Of Daily Function Cannot Continue Life Without Them Physical and Emotional Pain Numbness Denial Disbelief Grief is a feeling that, as you can see, contains many other emotions, and it can be incredibly confusing and frustrating trying to figure out which one you are feeling and trying to make sense of it. The immediate days and weeks after losing a child can seem like you are lost in a vortex of such extreme sadness and loss where nothing makes sense, and you have no idea which way to turn or which task to attempt to complete next. Hence, it is so crucial that you let happen whatever comes naturally. There really is no right or wrong way to do this, and whatever way you choose to cope, it is essential to feel it in your own time. There are many coping mechanisms a parent can adopt to cope with the grief of losing a child. While in the very early moments of loss, none of these may seem important to deal with the way you are feeling, it really is vital to try and be local and prioritise the most important things first. Talking Can Help You Cope Talking is such a powerful thing to do to start the process of understanding the feeling associated with losing a child. While it may not be the first thing on your agenda, the opportunity to talk to people throughout the grieving process will always be there. Some of the people who can help you by talking may not ordinarily appear as deliberate help. Still, any form of communication will help in the early days and throughout your journey. These people can be: Friends and Family Religious Ministers Medical Staff and Knowledgeable Peers Partners and Siblings Support Group Members Services Like The Samaritans You may find that these incredible services are available in all different formats these days, such as online, in person, or on the telephone, and you may also find it helpful to speak to people anonymously, which is also accepted by most organisations and groups, which can be incredibly useful to express the absolute truth. Online Support Can Be A Great Way Of Coping With Loss Sometimes, coping with losing a child can provoke the feeling of staying away from other people. This can allow you that you need time alone to work through your grief, or even seeing other people with their own children may be painful for you personally. Wanting to be alone is an entirely normal effect of loss, but there are ways you can continue to seek some support via online resources, and these may give you the privacy you need as well as the support you may need too. Very Well Family is a beneficial service that is designed around camping with the loss of a child for all of the family. They can be an advice lifeline, a service that can recommend other local services that can help you cope with your loss, or you can simply read the incredibly helpful information they have available. Child Bereavement UK is a very sympathetic yet practical service that you can seek online that specialises in ways to cope with the loss of a child at any age. They are providers of all of the essential information you may need to help with grief and organisation of affairs, as well as organising events for people who are in the same position as you to create a network of emphatic support. Heal Grief Org Gives some great advice on understanding your grief and allowing you to participate in virtual elements of the process, such as remembrance and lighting a candle, which can bring some comfort when you are feeling at a low point. Social Media Forums- Social media can be an excellent avenue to explore when seeking some online support. There are many groups and pages that will provide excellent information and support from individuals or groups of people who have been or are in the same position as you are. It is essential to mention that these services and forums will all generally operate a “No Judgement” policy and uphold your privacy as the most important concern. Some services you will be drawn to, and some areas may not suit your needs or align with you, and that is totally ok. Finding an avenue that suits you is going to be the one you open up to the most and utilise freely, so although the search can seem like an uphill task, once you find something that helps you in a way you accept, it can be your lifeline to finding ways to cope with grief. Remembering Your Child At Every Stage Only when a child passes away do we realise that we should remember every moment in their life, which includes every milestone, every “First,” and every last. Their journey was precious on this earth, and every moment should be remembered fondly as their journey with you, no matter how short that time must seem. By physically remembering your child can help in coping with losing a child, and you can do this in many ways, such as: Having a memory box created to permanently store all of the precious physical memories to look at in the future to remind you of a really precious child. Make a memorial garden for you and your family and friends to visit and remember your child. Having a remembrance blanket or teddies created from your child’s favorite clothing can be highly comforting for yourself and siblings. Creating a memorial timeline picture, including little snapshots in time that depicts the child’s life through every milestone or every moment they experienced. Turning a portion of their ashes into jewellery, to always keep them close to you. When you are in the midst of grief after losing a child, coping with losing a child can seem like a difficult task, and every day can seem like a battle just to get through. There is help and assistance available to guide you through each stage of the grief process, and everything that is available to you can be sought and delivered on your terms in a way that you are comfortable with. Talking is free, and it can be a really powerful way of interacting with people who are trained to address grief and maybe offer some mechanisms to implement to help you cope solo. At the very least, finding people who are or have been in the same situation as you may be a really helpful thing to do, and by learning from their grief journeys, you can start to figure out your own way forward. Grief is a personal journey, and you are most certainly not alone; if you ever feel alone and overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, guilt, or anything else that takes over you, reach out to someone and talk, maybe write your thoughts down or think about memorialising the memory of your child into a more permanent feature so you know you will have somewhere to go or something to hold that can really help you to cope on the days that seem never ending. You can survive through the loss of a child, and one day soon, you will be able to smile at their memory.

Your little one is finally here! All of the planning and excitement over the nine months of your pregnancy has resulted in a wondering new baby, and you can't stop yourself from marvelling at their precious fingers, toes, and chubby cheeks. But countless parents will tell you that the years fly by. That's why it is so crucial that you create keepsakes that will help you remember these days for the rest of your life. Your wee baby will be a toddler in the blink of an eye, then attending nursery, before cycling away on their first 'big kid' bike. Then comes primary school, secondary, and sixth form, their first broken heart and their last tuck-in goodnight. Before you know it, you'll be attending your child's university graduation and wondering where all the time went. It's hard to believe as you gaze at your sweet little infant, but it's true! The best way to combat the speed of time is to start documenting your little one's big moments and milestones. Some parents do this by creating scrapbooks or memory boxes; others quilt meaningful blankets from their outgrown baby clothes, still others create baby fingerprint jewellery that they can treasure forever. No matter what you choose to do to mark the passage of time, you'll thank yourself in twenty or thirty years when you can look back and remember this special time. Your children will be eternally grateful that you created such a meaningful tribute to their childhoods. If you have older children at home, get them involved as well – they'll be delighted to help with drawing and crafting, and it will make the end result so much more meaningful. 12 Brilliant Baby Keepsake Ideas Here is a list of the 12 timeless baby keepsakes that we absolutely love. Use these ideas to create your own perfect keepsake to cherish for the rest of your life. You can also gift them to your child at the special milestones in their life. Create a shadow box filled with their 'firsts' – We love the idea of creating a new baby shadow box filled with some of the most special items from your pregnancy and their first few months. Consider adding your baby's first scan photo, their teensy little Hospital ID band, and ink prints of their bitsy hands and feet. You can also add their wee knitted cap, a pair of booties, a rattle, a pacifier, and even a swath of their first baby blanket. Add their name in a unique script, along with some key dates, a nickname, or a special sentiment. Frame their first baby blanket – While you can add a small piece of their first blanket to their baby book, scrapbook, or quilt, some people choose to frame their sweet baby's blanket in its entirety. The more worn and unravelled, the more meaningful this framed wall hanging will be. Hang it on their childhood bedroom wall, or keep it stored for the future when you can present it to them upon the birth of their first child. You could also frame their first formal outfit, first Christmas dress/suit, or their christening gown. The frame will prevent moth holes, water damage, and mildew over the years. Bronze their first pair of shoes – While this might sound like a bit of a retro suggestion, bronzed baby shoes are making a comeback. Many engraving shops still offer this service, allowing you to preserve your baby's tiny little feet. When they're in their teens, you'll marvel at how small they once were! They make an adorable knickknack on your shelf. Create a customised scrapbook just for them – Over the past few decades, people have become increasingly creative with their baby scrapbooking ideas. More than just a way to preserve photos, scrapbooking allows you to incorporate documents, tickets, hospital bracelets, and other 2D mementoes. Doll your scrapbook up with stickers, picture corners, and so much more. You'll find the more you scrapbook, the more creative you become! Fill in a baby book – You'll find many different baby books available online. These differ from blank scrapbooks in that they include specific pages for various milestones in your baby's life. You'll be prompted to add photos, locks of hair, written notes, and a lot more. Some baby books transition into childhood, their teenaged years, and even through to university. They will be eternally grateful that you took the time to present them with this special gift. 'Baby book' websites – These days, nearly everything is online, so it makes sense that some parents are choosing to document their child's lives on their very own digital baby book. You can start your own website and only give the password to friends and family, or you can use one of many online platforms designed for just this purpose. The benefit to an online baby book is that it can never get lost, it can never get damaged, and it can be shared with friends and family around the world. Baby handprint kit – Nothing is cuter than a baby's ickle hands and feet! Why not put them in a mould so that you can create a keepsake that will remind you of this special time forever. These kits include non-toxic clay and a three-window frame that allow you to display the prints alongside photos. These also make a perfect gift for grandparents, godparents, aunts, and uncles. It is such a unique idea. Customise baby fingerprint jewellery – As mentioned above, there is something so sweet about your little one's tiny hands and feet. If you want to keep them close to your heart forever, order a piece of baby fingerprint jewellery to wear around your neck. Grandmas, Godmothers, Aunties, and best friends will also love a necklace featuring your little one's fingerprint. Have a Patchwork Memory Bear made – Are Patchwork memory bears are one of the cutest baby keepsakes imaginable? We think so! You send the company a number of your baby's most meaningful garments, and they transform them into a sweet stuffed teddy that you can keep forever. Use it as a memento on the shelf or let your little one snuggle with it as they grow throughout their childhood. Create a baby time capsule – This is a great one for getting the whole family involved. Ask your older children to help you collect their favourite outgrown baby bits, and ceremonially have them help add them to the time capsule. Your baby can get involved in their own time capsule as they get older, or you can keep it as a surprise to give them on their graduation or wedding day. Quilt a special keepsake blanket – Gather up your favourite baby clothing, worn-out stuffies, baby blankets, and booties, and snip out scraps. Once you have a sizeable basket of fabric scraps, you can begin the quilting process, and then stuff it with batting. If you aren't an avid sewer, you can find plenty of companies online who will make the perfect keepsake quilt for you. You can even transfer a few photos onto white fabric and have those squares added into the pattern. Make a 'one-second video' throughout their childhood – We love this fun social media trend so much that we had to include it in our list. Mums and dads around the world are taking a quick one or two second video of their baby every day (or once a week), and then editing them together for an animation effect. The resulting video is charming, fun, and astonishing – you'll be able to watch your little baby grow from a newborn to a toddler, and then onto a kiddo! If you have video editing chops, you can do this yourself, but there are plenty of online apps and websites that make it easy. Baby keepsakes make great gifts for new parents, who might not have the time, energy, or wherewithal to think about much of anything other than sleep. By creating a meaningful keepsake for their new baby, you will be taking a massive weight off of their shoulders. These baby keepsake ideas will fill your heart with joy years from now when you look back at the first few months and years of your baby's life. Whether you choose to keep them yourself or pass them onto your child when they are grown, there is nothing more meaningful.

What is a coroner's inquest? What is the purpose of an inquest? How does the inquest process work? Post-mortem Why is it carried out? Tips to help you through an inquest Most deaths occur perfectly naturally and in circumstances where a doctor can quickly establish the cause. Where the reason is not immediately apparent or a persons death seems to have happened in a violent or unnatural way; an inquest is the process of getting answers to the important questions of who died, where and how? What is a coroner's inquest? Ordinarily, a persons death is not referred to a Coroner, and the deceased's doctor will issue a medical certificate recording the cause of the death. In many cases, the deceased will have been treated for a medical issue just before death. Where the cause cannot be found, a referral should be made to the Coroners Office. The Coroner decides whether an inquest is needed to find out why the person died. A coroners inquest is a legal inquiry looking into the reasons for a persons death. The role of the Coroner, sometimes along with a Jury, is to investigate the circumstances which caused the person to die and to find out all of the facts relating to the death. The Coroner should open an inquest where there are grounds to suspect that the deceased died a violent or unnatural death, or where the cause of death is not known. The Coroner 'must' open an investigation if the deceased died while in state detention, such as in a prison, police cell or mental health institution. What is the purpose of an inquest? The main purpose of an inquest is to determine the important facts relating to the death. It is a legal process to establish the identity of the dead person, how they died, and when and where the death occurred. The inquest can be conducted by a Coroner alone or with a Jury where the death happened in state detention. Who is involved in an inquest? Coroners are independent judicial officers and are appointed by the local authority. The Coroner is normally a doctor or a lawyer and is responsible by law for investigating the cause of deaths. There are around 98 Coroners in England and Wales, covering over one hundred coroner areas.1 Other persons involved in the process are witnesses to the facts of the death, experts who may prepare reports to assist the inquest in reaching its conclusion, and sometimes legal representatives of the parties involved. The family of the deceased can attend as can the press as the hearings are held in public, except where certain sensitive circumstances mean that part of the hearing must take place in private. How does the inquest process work? When an inquest is required, the Coroner must 'open' it as soon as possible and then if necessary, adjourn for the period of time needed to gather evidence. Where the identity of the deceased is known, subject to the need for a post-mortem, the body can be released to the family for burial or cremation. In some cases a pre-inquest hearing will be needed to set out the scope of the inquest, decide what information is needed and set a timetable for the hearings. The post-mortem may reveal the cause of death, meaning there is not a need for an inquest. Where, for example, the death happened from natural causes that will conclude the process. If further investigation is required, the inquest will be opened and then adjourned. The inquest hearing should take place within six months or as soon as reasonably possible after the death has been referred to the Coroner. Sometimes it may take longer than six months to hold the inquest in complex cases. The hearings themselves are often short but can take weeks or months, the Hillsborough football stadium tragedy being one such case. During the inquest, the Coroner will hear evidence from witnesses and consider other material such as the post-mortem or experts reports. It is up to the Coroner to decide what evidence can be heard. As the purpose of the inquest is limited to discovering the facts of the death the Coroner (or Jury), cannot find anyone criminally responsible for the death. However, if it is suspected that the person died as a result of a crime, the Coroner can pass a file to the police or Crown Prosecution Service. Any 'properly interested parties' can request copies of the statements, reports or medical records to be used in the inquest and can be invited to make representations to the inquest. The inquest takes place in a courtroom, and although it is a process open to the public, reporting restrictions can limit what the press can report. The Coroner and any legal representatives can ask questions of witnesses to try and find out what led to the death. They cannot cross-examine witnesses as the hearing is an investigation and not a Trial. The Coroner does have the power to compel witnesses to attend. The Coroner is also able to call witnesses dealing with any concerns that other deaths may happen in similar circumstances. This is part of the Coroners role to prevent future deaths. The facts of the inquest may be passed on to relevant organisations to improve systems and procedures which might have contributed to the death. Once all of the evidence is heard, the Coroner must reach a conclusion on the cause of death. Where a Jury is needed, the Coroner will hear legal submissions (in their absence) on which conclusions should properly be left for the Jury to consider. The most common conclusions on the cause of death are: accidental death or misadventure narrative detailing the circumstances but not attributing responsibility to any individual alcohol or drug-related death industrial disease unlawful killing, i.e. murder natural causes open, meaning there is not enough evidence to support any other conclusion road traffic collision suicide The decisions are reached on the balance of probabilities, except for unlawful killing, which must be decided on the basis of beyond reasonable doubt. Once the cause of death is established, the Coroner will produce a report, and the death can properly be registered. Post-mortem A post-mortem is a medical examination of the deceased's body, carried out to establish the cause of death. Usually, this involves an internal examination of the body tissue and organs but can also involve toxicology tests to examine if substances are present in the body. Samples can be taken for further tests. Parts of the body may be retained if further tests are required. This may happen where the cause of death is complex or disputed, or a second post-mortem is needed. Why is it carried out? The Coroner may conclude that a post-mortem is necessary to find out the exact cause of death, particularly where a doctor cannot identify the reason to record on the death certificate. A post-mortem is conducted by a pathologist. Body parts, organ tissue and fluids are thoroughly examined to try and establish what caused the person to die. Where a criminal act is suspected of having caused the death, the post-mortem is carried out by a forensic pathologist skilled in such investigations. There is sometimes a request for a second post mortem from legal representatives of any suspect identified. This can cause delay to the body being released and in turn, lead to additional upset to the family of the deceased. The Chief Coroner is able to issue guidance on the appropriate use of post mortems. Tips to help you through an inquest Naturally, an inquest is a difficult time for anyone connected to the person who has died. Emotions can be raw, and the hearings may come soon after the trauma of the death itself. There are some useful steps that can be taken to make the process as bearable as possible: make use of the Coroners office that supports the work of the Coroner in each area. They can provide helpful information and guide you through what might seem a complex and daunting process. the charitable organisation, 'The Coroners Court Support Service' provides help and support to those going through the inquest process (coronerscourtssupportservice.org.uk). be well prepared and ensure you are given access in good time to the statements and reports that will form the evidence in the inquest. think about the questions that you might want to ask of the witnesses and perhaps appoint a family member to act as spokesperson. if you are able to have a legal representative involved, this can help alleviate some of the pressures and stress of the inquest. as the hearings are in public there is nothing to prevent you from taking along a trusted friend to provide moral support. don't do anything or make any decisions in haste. When emotions are very raw people can do and say things that later they regret. Take your time to carefully consider each decision. remember that the purpose of the inquest is to find out why the person died. This may mean that upsetting information is heard, which can be traumatic, but the overall aim is to provide answers, helping people to understand why the death occurred. Summary The Coroners inquest plays a vital role in ensuring that the circumstances of unnatural deaths are fully investigated. It maintains the legal rights of the deceased's family and other properly interested persons, referring the matter on to the prosecuting authorities where a criminal act is suspected and can prevent similar deaths occurring in future.  It can aid the grieving process as the family have the chance to take part and to ask questions and discover the facts about how their loved one died. Sources 1Coroners and Justice Act 2009 [Coroner Areas and Assistant Coroners] Transitional Order 2013). https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/859076/guide-to-coroner-services-bereaved-people-jan-2020.pdf