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Understanding Grief Counselling and How it Can Help

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Understanding Grief Counselling and How it Can Help

by Darren Graham on Apr 04 2023
Grief is an overwhelming emotion that comes with the loss of a loved one. The experience of grief is unique to every individual, and it can affect people of all ages. Grief counselling is a type of therapy that helps individuals cope with their loss and find ways to move forward. In this article, we will discuss the different types of grief counsellors available for different ages and situations and how memorial jewellery, such as an ashes bracelet, can help with remembrance. What Does Grief Counselling Involve? Grief counselling involves working with a trained therapist or counsellor to process the intense emotions associated with loss. The counsellor provides a safe space for individuals to express their grief without fear of judgement and helps them develop coping strategies to manage their emotions and thoughts. They may also provide guidance on coping with difficult emotions such as guilt and anger and help you identify healthy ways to move forward in life after the loss. The goal of grief counselling is not to make your pain disappear but rather to help you learn how to cope with it in healthy and productive ways. It’s important to remember that there is no “right” way to grieve; everyone experiences grief differently, so each individual must have access to personalised support when needed. Different Types of Grief Counselling Sessions One-on-One Counselling: This is a traditional form of grief counselling where an individual works with a therapist one-on-one to process their emotions and thoughts surrounding the loss. The counsellor provides a safe space for the individual to express their feelings and helps them develop coping strategies to manage their grief. Group Counselling: This type of counselling involves a group of people who have experienced similar losses. The counsellor provides a safe and supportive environment for the group to share their stories, experiences, and emotions. Group counselling can be particularly helpful for individuals who feel isolated in their grief and benefit from hearing from others who have experienced similar losses. Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviours. In grief counselling, CBT can help individuals identify negative thoughts and beliefs related to their loss and work to reframe them in a more positive and helpful way. Mindfulness-Based Therapy: This type of therapy focuses on the present moment and develops a non-judgmental awareness of one's thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness-based therapy can help individuals manage their grief by helping them become more aware of their emotions and how they affect their thoughts and behaviours. Creative Therapies: Art therapy, music therapy, and other forms of creative therapy can be helpful in processing emotions related to grief. These therapies involve using art or other creative outlets to express emotions and process the loss. The Different Types of Grief Counsellors Age-Specific Counsellors: Counsellors who specialise in working with different age groups, such as children, teenagers, adults, or seniors. They understand the unique needs and emotions of each age group and can tailor their counselling approach accordingly. For example, counsellors who work with children may use art or play therapy to help children express their feelings, while counsellors who work with seniors may address issues related to ageing and mortality. Traumatic Loss Counsellors: Counsellors who specialise in providing support for those who have experienced traumatic loss or sudden and violent deaths. These counsellors can help individuals work through feelings of shock and disbelief and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They can also provide tools and coping strategies for managing the intense emotions associated with traumatic loss. Spousal Loss Counsellors: Counsellors who specialise in supporting individuals who have lost a spouse or partner. They can help individuals navigate the challenges of losing a partner, such as adjusting to a new identity and managing daily tasks. They can also address the emotions associated with spousal loss, such as feelings of loneliness and isolation, and provide tools for managing these emotions. Parental Loss Counsellors: Counsellors who specialise in supporting individuals dealing with the unique grief and responsibility of losing a parent. They can help individuals navigate the complex emotions associated with parental loss, such as guilt, regret, and responsibility. They can also provide support for managing the practical and logistical aspects of parental loss, such as estate planning and funeral arrangements. Child Loss Counsellors: Counsellors who specialise in providing support for parents and family members dealing with the unique and devastating experience of losing a child. These counsellors can help parents and family members cope with the intense emotions associated with child loss, such as grief, anger, and guilt. They can also provide tools and strategies for managing the practical aspects of child loss, such as planning a memorial service and dealing with financial matters. The Duration of Grief Counselling The duration of grief counselling can vary depending on the individual's needs and the counsellor’s approach. Some individuals may only require a few sessions to work through their initial grief, while others may benefit from ongoing counselling for several months or even years. The length of grief counselling depends on the individual's personal circumstances and the severity of their loss. It is important to remember that grief is a unique and complex process, and there is no set timeline for healing. A qualified grief counsellor can help individuals develop coping strategies to manage their emotions and thoughts and provide support throughout the grieving process, no matter how long it takes. The focus of grief counselling is to provide the necessary support and guidance for individuals to move forward healthily, and the duration of counselling can vary accordingly. Grief Counselling and Memorial Jewellery Grief counselling and memorial jewellery can work together to provide individuals with a comprehensive approach to managing their grief. Grief counselling can provide support and guidance through the emotional and psychological aspects of grief, while memorial jewellery can provide a tangible way to remember and honour the person who has passed away. Memorial jewellery can serve as a physical reminder of the memories shared with the person and can provide a sense of connection and comfort during times of grief. Together, grief counselling and memorial jewellery can provide individuals with the tools and support needed to navigate the complex emotions and challenges associated with loss. The combination of counselling and memorial jewellery can create a holistic approach to grief management that addresses both the emotional and physical aspects of the grieving process. The Benefits of Memorial Jewellery Memorial jewellery can provide comfort and a sense of connection to a loved one who has passed away. It can be personalised with a name, date, or another meaningful message and can be worn as a reminder of the person who has passed away. Many types of memorial jewellery exist, including pendants, bracelets, rings, and lockets. You can choose to incorporate the ashes into jewellery or the hair of your loved one, creating a unique and meaningful keepsake. Memorial jewellery can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the person who has passed away. It can be especially helpful for children who may struggle to express their emotions verbally. For adults, it can serve as a private reminder of their loved ones and provide comfort during times of grief. Conclusion Grief counselling is an invaluable tool for those who have experienced a significant loss in their life. It provides compassionate support while helping individuals develop healthy coping strategies for managing their emotions during this difficult time. Memorial jewellery is a beautiful keepsake for remembering a loved one and can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the person who passed away.  If you are struggling with grief due to any loss, consider reaching out for professional help from a trained counsellor specialising in grief therapy—it could make all the difference in helping you find peace and acceptance as you move forward with your life.
Palliative Care: Making Memories to Cherish in Those Final Moments

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Palliative Care: Making Memories to Cherish in Those Final Moments

by Darren Graham on Jan 31 2023
When facing a life-limiting illness, palliative care can provide comfort, relief, and support for the patient and their loved ones. One important aspect of palliative care is the opportunity to make lasting memories and cherish the time spent together. Memorial jewellery can help preserve those memories and serve as a reminder of the love and connection shared. What is Palliative Care? Palliative care is specialised medical care that focuses on improving patients’ quality of life with serious illnesses, such as cancer, heart failure, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), or dementia. Palliative care aims to relieve pain, symptoms, and stress and provide emotional, social, and spiritual support to patients and their families. Palliative care is provided by a team of healthcare professionals, including doctors, nurses, social workers, and chaplains. The team works together to develop a personalised care plan that addresses the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of the patient and their family. The goal of palliative care is to help patients live as fully and comfortably as possible and to support their families in coping with the challenges of a serious illness. Palliative care can also provide guidance on advance care planning, such as discussing end-of-life care and decisions and providing support for bereavement and grief. Making Memories in Palliative Care Making memories in palliative care is an important aspect of improving the quality of life for patients and their loved ones. It offers an opportunity to create meaningful experiences and spend quality time together. There are many ways to make memories in palliative care, such as sharing stories and laughter, enjoying favourite foods or hobbies, listening to music, creating art or crafts, taking pictures, or spending time in nature. These activities can provide comfort and joy, and serve as a reminder of the love and connection shared. By making memories in palliative care, patients and their loved ones can create lasting and meaningful moments that will be cherished for years to come. Memorial Jewellery: Preserving Memories and Connection Memorial jewellery is a tangible way to preserve memories and connect with loved ones who have passed away. Cremation jewellery can be personalised with engravings, birthstones, or other meaningful symbols to create a unique and meaningful tribute. Some popular options for memorial jewellery include lockets, bracelets, rings, and pendants. One popular type of memorial jewellery is the pendants for ashes, which holds a small amount of ashes from a loved one. This allows the wearer to keep their loved one close to their heart and serves as a comforting reminder of their connection. Another option is to create a custom piece of jewellery that incorporates personal items, such as a lock of hair, a fingerprint, or a signature. These items can be used to create a one-of-a-kind piece that reflects the unique personality and spirit of the loved one. Emotional Support and Support Groups for Those Receiving Palliative Care Facing a life-limiting illness can be a challenging and emotional experience, not only for the patient but also for their loved ones. Emotional support and access to support groups can provide comfort, guidance, and a sense of community during this difficult time. Palliative care providers understand the emotional toll of a life-limiting illness, and many offer emotional support services to patients and their families. This may include counselling, therapy, or simply being available to listen and provide reassurance. These services can help patients and their families process their feelings, manage anxiety and depression, and improve overall well-being. Support Groups Support groups provide a safe space for patients and their loved ones to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. These groups can offer emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of community. Support groups may be led by healthcare professionals or by fellow patients and caregivers and can be found both in-person and online. There are many types of support groups available for those receiving palliative care, including: Disease-specific groups: These groups focus on a particular illness or condition and provide information and support specific to that disease. Caregiver support groups: These groups offer support and guidance for caregivers who may experience high levels of stress and burnout. Bereavement groups: These groups offer support for those who have lost a loved one to a life-limiting illness. Spiritual or faith-based groups: These groups offer support and guidance for those who find comfort in their faith or spirituality. Final Thoughts Palliative care can provide comfort, relief, and support during life-limiting illnesses, and creating lasting memories is an important part of that care. Memorial jewellery can help preserve those memories and serve as a reminder of the love and connection shared. Whether it's a simple locket or a custom piece of jewellery, these tributes can provide comfort and solace to those grieving the loss of a loved one.
Fundraising For Charity During Grief: How to Make a Difference During Difficult Times

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Fundraising For Charity During Grief: How to Make a Difference During Difficult Times

by Darren Graham on Jan 10 2023
One of life’s most difficult challenges is losing a loved one. In those heart-breaking moments, finding comfort and solace can seem impossible. However, there are ways to honour the memory of our beloved ones in meaningful and inspiring ways – memorial jewellery is a lovely way to remember loved ones and a way to have them with you at all times, necklace for ashes would be a beautiful item of jewellery for you to remember your loved one. Fundraising for charitable causes that would have mattered to them is also a great idea. Fundraising offers an opportunity not only to remember those we have lost but also to benefit and help others who are facing similar struggles. Let’s explore how one can go about fundraising for charities and what charity options might be best for you. Choosing a Charity When considering which charity you would like to fundraise for, first consider the interests of your loved one and any issues or causes they may have been passionate about; you may wish to consider organisations such as the Red Cross or a charity related to the medical condition that caused your loved one's death. You can then research charities to determine which ones may be the most suitable for your needs. Knowing where your money is going and what it will be used for is also important. Examples of different charities Great Ormond Street Hospital Charity Great Ormond Street Hospital, or GOSH, is a world-renowned treatment centre for children where every day, around 600 children and young people from across the UK arrive for life-changing treatments.  Every day, the brightest minds come together to achieve pioneering medical breakthroughs that change the lives of thousands of children and the world. This extraordinary hospital has always depended on charitable support. So that is why this charity exists. Make-A-Wish Foundation The Make-A-Wish Foundation is a charity that grants wishes to children with life-threatening illnesses. The foundation makes a point of working with each child and their family to ensure that the child's wish is something that will bring them joy and hope in the midst of their difficult situation. British Red Cross The British Red Cross is a humanitarian organisation that provides relief in the wake of natural disasters and other emergencies; they provide equipment, space and resources to those affected by an emergency which helps them recover. The organisation also works to prevent disasters through education and training, providing blood and blood products to hospitals and other medical facilities. British Heart Foundation As the single biggest funder of cardiovascular research in the UK, the BHF pay for nearly £100 million of research annually. They raise money to fund research to prevent, detect, treat and cure all heart and circulatory diseases, including heart attacks, strokes and vascular dementia, and all the conditions or risk factors that can cause them, like diabetes and high blood pressure. ‘Our vision is a world free from the fear of heart and circulatory diseases. We raise money to research cures and treatments to give people more time with the ones they love.’ Macmillan Cancer support At Macmillan Cancer Support, they research the changing needs of people living with cancer and those who support them. They do this to deliver services and campaigns and do whatever it takes to support people living with cancer when they need us most. Macmillan offers a variety of events in the calendar year (which can be found on their website), from marathons and coffee mornings to Sober October – no matter your interests or capabilities, there is an event for you! These much-needed fundraisers aid Macmillan's mission to provide quality support to those impacted by cancer. Your participation can take many forms - why not host your own activity? Get involved today and make a difference with Macmillan! Fundraising Methods You can raise money for a chosen charity in many different ways. You could host an event such as a bake sale, car wash, fancy dress day at work, dinner party, or silent auction; create donation sheets in your local community; utilize crowd-funding sites such as GoFundMe; or even collect donations through social media platforms such as Facebook. If there’s an activity that ties into something your loved one enjoyed doing while they were alive, this could make it even more special when raising funds in their memory. The most important thing to remember is that even a small donation goes a long way. Individual Fundraising Individual fundraising involves creating an individual page on a specific website dedicated solely to your cause and its related activities and events. This page allows people from all over the world—friends, family members, colleagues—to make donations directly into your account on the website without knowing how online transactions work. Additionally, individual fundraising provides individuals with a platform through which they can share information about their cause with anyone who visits the page – thus providing them with an effective way of promoting their charity work among their peers and beyond! Benefits Of Giving Charitably During Difficult Times Charity Fundraising during difficult times has many benefits beyond simply helping others who are less fortunate than yourself. It can also be cathartic, providing an outlet for your emotions while honouring the memory of your lost loved one in a meaningful way. It can also help connect you with others who have gone through similar experiences by providing an opportunity for engagement within the community around you or even online through crowd-funding campaigns like GoFundMe or Kickstarter. Finally, it helps create positive change by supporting causes that are important to you, which is something that your lost loved one would likely have appreciated too! Conclusion Fundraising is a great way to honour someone who has passed away and raise awareness of issues that matter most to us today while supporting relevant charities in our community at large! Whether you decide on hosting an event or creating donation sheets in your neighbourhood—or even if you opt for individual fundraising via social media platforms—your efforts will surely be appreciated by those in need while allowing us all to remember our loved ones fondly and carry out their legacies effectively!
How to Remember a Loved One Who Has Passed

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How to Remember a Loved One Who Has Passed

by Darren Graham on Oct 26 2022
Experiencing the passing of a loved one is something that so many of us will, unfortunately, experience in our lives. It is one of the least spoken about but inevitable parts of life and one that we may all face sooner or later. The pain and sorrow that comes with losing a loved one can be overwhelming and almost impossible to cope with. You may find it incredibly difficult to deal with their absence, especially if they were a significant figure in your life. If you have sadly lost a loved one, then you know how disorienting it can feel at first. The initial shock of their passing gradually gives way to other waves of feelings that are just as challenging to process. It can seem like a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions that are as confusing to process as they are painful to feel. However, finding ways to keep the memory alive and with you in the present day is really important for your mental health and healing process as time passes on. Memorialising the departed provides peace of mind, even if only temporarily. With the help of this article, you may discover various ways to remember your loved one who has passed on. Burn A Memorial Candle A candle is a beautiful and simple way to remember your loved one who has passed, for yourself and your friends and family. It will help you create a special place to honour their memory and offer a source of warmth and comfort while supporting spirituality in those who believe. You can do this in many ways, depending on the person you're remembering. For example, suppose they were particularly fond of gardening or outdoors. In that case, you can place a candle by a flower bed or tree that they loved. Or, if they had a favourite hobby or sport, you can use a candle to mark their achievements in that niche. People often forget that they can use candles to honour the memory of their loved ones' achievements and special dates. Candles can be used in many ways to mark a special occasion or simply provide practical and metaphorical warmth and comfort during a difficult time. They can be personalised and refilled to ensure that the candle stays with the loved one you have lost. It can be passed down through generations in memorium. Candles can be placed on your mantel or bookshelf, or you can have them on a unique table dedicated to the person you are remembering. Wear Memorial Jewellery There are many types of memorial jewellery that you can have made to your specification that contain the ashes of the loved one you have lost. These pieces can be a simple bracelet, pendant, or even a ring that bears the engraved name of your loved one. Depending on your personal preferences and budget, there are many options out there for you. You can purchase traditional jewellery, like necklaces or bracelets, or you can look for something more unique, like a ring or pin that bears the name of the person you are remembering. There are many ways that wearing reminders of a loved one can help with the grieving process. One way is through the act of remembering. You may find yourself constantly thinking about your loved one when you're not physically with them, but it can be comforting to know that they are still with you somehow. Another way wearing memorial jewellery can help is by providing a physical reminder of the person. Having a necklace or other piece of wearable jewellery with their ashes in it can be a source of comfort during a difficult time. And finally, memorial jewellery can help to provide closure for the bereaved as they remember their loved ones and feel connected to them once again. While jewellery is a great way to remember your loved one, it is not suitable for everyone. It may not be an option for you if you have an allergy to certain metals. If this is the case, you can look into other ways to remember your loved one, such as memorial Christmas tree ornaments and decorations for events such as Christmas, easter or to mark their birthday. Write a Letter or E-mail to Your Loved One One of the very best ways to remember your loved one is to write them a letter. You can do this in any form that you like, whether that be a handwritten letter or an e-mail. What is significant about this is that you choose to reflect on your life with them in it. You can include anything that you want, such as how you met or how much they meant to you. You can, of course, decide whether or not to send it to them, or if you want to keep it as a private letter. Keeping it private is a great way to remember your loved one on their birthday or death anniversary. Keep an Item Close that Belonged To Them Another way to remember your loved one is to keep an item close that belonged to them. This can be something as simple and traditional as a locket or ring they wore or a photo they had in their wallet. You can also keep a piece of clothing that they often wore, such as a hat or sweater, or even a piece of their hair. What you choose to keep will depend on the person you are remembering. A popular choice is clothing, as these are often made into memory bears or cushions for comfort and as a route to keeping their memory alive and close to you. If you were close to them, you would know what is essential to keep as a reminder of them. If you were not always close to them or did not know what to keep, then you can enlist the help of a friend or family member. They may be able to help you choose the best item to keep as a reminder of the person you are mourning. Create a Memory Book A memory book is a beautiful way to remember your departed loved one. It allows you to reflect on their life and your relationship with them. One of the best things about a memory book to remember your lost loved one is that there are no rules; you are free to express anything in this format that feels right at the time. A really great way to create a memory book is to write down your memories and favourite moments with your loved one. It can take shape similar to a reflective journal where you can write down the feelings and emotions that each piece provokes. This can be done in any way you see fit through the use of photos, drawings, and letters. You can also include letters of thanks and gratitude from friends and family members who loved and cared for the person you are remembering. Decorate the Last Resting Place Another fantastic way you can remember a lost loved one is by decorating their last resting place with a thoughtful memorial. You can place flowers, candles, or items they would have liked to have seen in their last resting place. You can also place a particular item that they would have liked to have been surrounded with on their last resting place. Decorating their last resting place may help to keep their memory alive, even when you cannot see their gravesite all the time. Donate to a Cause That Was Important to Your Loved One Suppose your loved one had a passion for helping and supporting others. In that case, you can memorialise them and keep their legacy going by donating to a cause that was important to them or continuing fundraising efforts for them on behalf of your loved one. You can memorialise your loved one by donating to their favourite cause in remembrance of their life and their passions. You can create a fundraising page in their name or visit a website that allows you to donate directly. You can choose from such a wide range of causes, from animal rights to helping children in need. Conclusion A person's death is when their physical body is no longer alive. Their memory, however, can be preserved and kept alive through the many ways to remember a loved one who has passed on. Memorialising your loved one through a heartfelt eulogy or a spoken tribute is always a great way to honour their memory. It is essential to be honest and to state how they made you feel and impacted your life. You can also share their impact on those who knew them and how they are still missed. You can also make a memory book to hold your most cherished memories. These are great reminders of your loved one, and you can use them as a keepsake. You can also create a memorial garden to reflect on your loved one's life and how they lived it. This is a great way to help you deal with grief, and it is also a great way to honour your loved one. Honour their memory and cherish your relationships by remembering the good times you shared together and also by making new memories with those still living.
Why memorials are important

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Why memorials are important

by Darren Graham on Jun 24 2022
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Understanding Why Memorials Of Life are Important To Include When A Loved One Is Lost Introduction When a loved one passes, it can be challenging to know the best way to remember them. There are many ways to commemorate someone after their death; there are also many different reasons you might want to memorialise them. We all know about burial plots and headstones. Still, memorials come in so many forms that they can feel like something of an explosion of ideas. Which is good and helpful! Finding the right way to honour someone who has passed on is crucial, so here are some of the most important reasons why memorials are important. A Memorial Honors the Life of a Loved One When someone passes away, it can be complicated to find a way to honour their life, to celebrate their life with us. The very best way to do this is by creating a memorial commemorating the special moments and memories you have of that person's life. A memorial can be a place to share stories and memories, bringing laughter and comfort to those who are left behind. It can be a place to reflect or an item to cherish about the person's life and achievements, allowing you to celebrate the life of someone who has passed on. A memorial can be a place for you to say thank you for everything that person gave to you. It can be a way to show gratitude for all the lessons that person taught you and the love they poured into your life. A Memorial Can Help Heal The Trauma of Loss When someone passes, it is a harrowing, traumatic experience. It can be so easy to get stuck in sadness, to get stuck in the trauma of loss. A memorial can help with this – it can help you start to heal and find a positive way to move forward. A memorial service can be a really powerful way to find closure and a place to say goodbye to a special loved one who has passed – to release them, to let them go. It can be a place to say goodbye to the life they had, the life they lived. And it can be a place to welcome the life to come. A memorial service can be a place to find peace with grief and trauma – to help you move forward with your life. It can be a place to talk about your feelings, to find comfort in the company of others. A memorial can help you transform your pain into something positive – a way to start healing the trauma of loss, one of the biggest reasons why memorials are important. A Memorial Can Be a Place or Item of Comfort and Solace A memorial is a place where you can go to reflect on the life of a person who has passed, where you can find comfort and solace. A memorial space can be a place to go when you feel like you need some quiet time; a place where you can go to find peace, to get away from the busyness of life. A memorial can be a place where you can go to reflect on the meaning of life. It can be a place where you go to ask the question, what is the point of everything? A memorial can be a sacred place where you can meditate and find meaning in life and what has happened to you. It can be a quiet place where you can go to try to understand your place in the world. A memorial space can be a place to go when you want a bit of solitude in your life, when you want to take some time to sit and breathe, to be thankful for your things. It can be a place to go when you want to be with yourself, in silence, in stillness. A Memorial May Help Preserve The Memory of a Loved One Not all memorials are physical ones; some exist in the form of things that are written or said, and they are still important. A poem, a story, a blog post, or a song can be beautiful ways to commemorate a loved one. A blog post, for example, can be a way to celebrate a loved one who has passed. You can use it as a place to share your feelings, stories, and memories of that person. You can use it to process your grief and communicate with others who are going through the same thing. They can be a part of history. They can be a part of the culture. They can last far beyond a physical memorial and the lives of the people who created them. They are ways to process your grief and your pain. A Wearable Memorial Is a Lasting Reminder of the Life of a Loved One A wearable memorial is sometimes referred to as cremation jewellery, and is a unique way of remembering the loved ones close that you've lost. It's like having a memorial statue in your garden or a plaque on your wall. Still, it's something that's connected to you every day by wearing something close to your heart. It can be anything from a gold ashes pendant to gold fingerprint jewellery, or even a gold locket for ashes. The idea is to have something always there to remind you of the person you've lost and that they are remembered by those they leave behind. A piece of wearable ashes jewellery can be made into a unique design by specialist jewellery designers and artists. They can be as simple or as elaborate as you want them to be, depending on your budget and personal style. What matters most is that it makes people remember the person who has passed away and that they are not forgotten. Summing up A memorial is a place to reflect on the life of someone who has passed. It's a place to talk about their achievements and celebrate the difference they made in your life. A memorial can be a place to find comfort and solace, where you can go to reflect on the meaning of life, meditate, and ask the questions you need answers to in silence. A memorial can be a place to go or something to hold when you want a bit of solitude in your life when you want to take some time to sit and breathe, to be thankful for your memories and time with them; one of the main reasons why memorials are important. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
How To Remember Lost Loved Ones With Memorial Gifts

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How To Remember Lost Loved Ones With Memorial Gifts

by Julia Bochenski on Apr 25 2022
Memorial Gift Ideas For Lost Loved Ones The loss of a loved one can be painful and distressing, and the prospect of saying goodbye is likely to be heart-wrenching. It's almost inevitable that you'll have friends and family who you'll only have to say goodbye to once and others who you'll have to say goodbye to over and over again, and the difference in goodbyes is striking. Suppose you've experienced the permanent loss of a loved one. In that case, you may wonder how you can remember their memory with physical memorial ideas that will help ease your pain and treasure their memory and represent the place they held in your life. Reading this post doesn't mean you should buy memorial gifts for everyone who has passed away in your life. It just means that, as a grieving person, you should know about memorial gifts so that you can buy a gift that will help you remember them and help you heal. Even if you don't plan on buying memorial gifts for everyone who has passed away in your life, you may still want to know about their meaning so you can choose a gift that will be meaningful to you or pass on the information to someone who may have recently lost their loved one. What Is a Memorial Gift? Memorial gifts are thoughtful gifts that are given in memory of someone who has died. They are often given to family members, friends, and loved ones who have lost a loved one. Memorial gifts are often given to honour a life that has been lived and to celebrate that life. They are typically given as a gift from a friend or family member to someone who has lost a loved one, and they are normally gifted as an expression of empathy and condolence. Memorial gifts are often given in the form of a charitable donation. Still, they can also take the form of a physical entity that the person who has lost a loved one can keep as a permanent reminder of the person they have lost. Why Buy a Memorial Gift? People often ask why you should buy memorial gifts for a loved one instead of giving monetary donations to memorialise the person you're giving the gift to. The answer is simple: money isn't the only way to show that you care. Memorial ideas are often a more meaningful way to show your loved ones that you care. Monetary gifts can sound insincere and obligatory if you're not careful. Most people don't have the money to give to every person who has lost a loved one, so monetary gifts can feel like an insult when given to someone who has lost a loved one. You can also buy a meaningful gift that will help ease your grief and help your loved ones remember the person they've lost.  You can buy a keepsake, a memento, or a gift that will help ease your loved ones' pain and their memories of the person they've lost. How to Choose a Memorial Gift It's hard to know what to give to someone who has lost a loved one. There's no correct answer, and there is no single item that will make everything feel better. It's almost as if the right gift is a feeling that can't be explained or understood. But, the right gift doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming. It really can be as simple as a thoughtful, kind gesture. Making sure the gift you are giving is representative and suitable for the person it's being gifted to and the person it represents are the most critical parts of choosing a memorial gift. You can follow a few guidelines to help you choose more meaningful memorial ideas for the person you're giving the gift to. Here are some suggestions on suitable and meaningful gifts: Private Memorial Bench Do you want a memorial bench in your garden? Memorial benches are usually found at public locations, like parks and riversides. You might choose to have one put in the most significant place for your loved one. However, if it's on public property, the bench may not always be available for use by you or anyone else who would like to sit there and think about their dearly departed loved ones. If this seems too impersonal for where you'd prefer memories of them could live inside of your heart forever instead, consider getting a garden memorial bench made just for your private outdoor space. Create A Memorial In Their Resting Space You can contact the crematorium to find out more information about how to order a plaque or have the last resting place in their garden of remembrance. The plaque, stone, or garden marker can be engraved with whatever you like, whether that is a poem, a favourite quote, or a short message. You can also place flowers or other decorations at this location to help you to feel closer to your loved one. Design A Keepsake Urn You could also look into getting a keepsake urn. These are often made of ceramic or other materials and can be designed with different themes and styles. You can put a piece of your loved ones' favourite jewellery, a treasured photograph inside, or anything else they might have treasured; there are no hard and fast rules here; this one can be incredibly personal. You can have this urn close to you, maybe in your home, and it can help you to always have them close to your heart. Keepsake Jewellery There are many different types of jewellery that you can have your loved one's ashes placed into. You can have them placed into a piece of jewellery such as a ring, pendant, bracelet, or a piece that you can wear every day. Some people like to have their loved one's ashes turned into a piece of jewellery so that they can keep them close to their hearts. There are a few different ways that you can have your loved one's ashes turned into jewellery. One of the most popular ways is to have them mixed into resin and cast into a piece of jewellery, such as necklaces for ashes. Make A Scrapbook Of Their Life Scrapbooks are a great way to preserve memories and keep them close to you, and they are an excellent gift idea for anyone, even if they don't have a lot of money to spend. You can make a scrapbook with newspaper clippings, photos, and anything else that reminds you of that person. You can also make a scrapbook for that person as a group activity with their friends and family. Scrapbooks are memorial ideas that don't have to be expensive, and they don't need to be fancy. Putting together a scrapbook is a great way to preserve memories and share stories with one another. It's a thoughtful gift that anyone can make and enjoy. Honour Their Name Permanently A piece of art, a sculpture, or a star named after your lost loved one can be a thoughtful and meaningful gift that can be treasured for years to come. You can choose something that has personal meaning to you, your lost loved one, or both. While some people may think that this choice is too obvious, however, you can make it even more meaningful by selecting something that has significance to the both of you; you can make it more personal by choosing something that has a great importance to you or your lost loved one. Plant A Memorial Shrub Or Tree If you are looking into planting a tree or shrub in memory of a loved one but do not have any trees in mind, there are plenty of resources available to help you select the right one. Most nurseries and garden supply shops have books and catalogs that offer information about various types of trees and their symbolism, so you will be able to find the right one for both the person you are remembering and their meaning. There are also plenty of websites that offer guidance on how to select the right tree for a memorial. Final Words: Knowing How to Remember Those You Love With Memorial Gifts Memorial gifts are gifts that are given in memory of someone who has passed away. They are often given as a gift from a friend or family member to the person who has lost a loved one, and they are normally gifted as an expression of empathy and condolence. Memorial gifts are often given in the form of a donation. Still, they can also take the form of a physical gift, a personalised gift, or a keepsake. These memorial gifts can be a meaningful way to remember and honor the people in your life who have passed away. They can be a thoughtful way to help ease your loved one's pain and make their memories of the person they've lost be a little more permanent. 
Pet Memorial Ideas Guide

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Pet Memorial Ideas Guide

by Julia Bochenski on Apr 01 2022
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] How to Celebrate Your Pet's Life and Keep Their Memory Alive With A Memorial Introduction It's never easy when you have to say goodbye to a family member—whether that person is human or animal. For many of us, our pets might be the closest thing we have to a family, and because they are so special to us, it's important to find ways to celebrate their life and keep their memory alive long after they leave this world. Though not the same as humans, animals experience the same kind of life that we do within our families, so grieving over losing a pet is just an automatic response for us humans who love and adore everything about them. This love, affection, and appreciation we feel for our beloved animals can make it really difficult for pet owners who want to come up with a way to honour their pet's life after they have passed and help them grieve correctly and move on. This guide will show you ways to take care of your emotional needs while honouring your pet's memory with some helpful pet memorial tips and suggestions. How to Cope Well With the Loss of a Pet The emotional toll of pet loss can be intense. Some pet owners experience denial, while others may experience anger, sadness, or guilt. All of these emotions of grief and sadness, and a whole lot more, are a natural part of the overall grieving process, and it's important to let them run their course. It's also vital to ensure you look after your own physical health as you grieve so that you don't become ill and have to deal with two problems instead of one. Though everyone copes with loss in their own way, here are some tips that may help you work through your grief: Spend time with other people who've lost their pets Volunteer at a shelter that houses animals in need Creating a personalised pet memorial. Honour your pet by donating in their name Get a new animal companion Take time out for yourself every day It is important to understand that everyone will be different when it comes to creating pet memorials. What feels like the best option to one pet parent may seem absurd to another. A memorial for your pet is whatever you feel honours them best, both in character and the place they had in your life. There really is no such thing as the right or wrong to remember your pet, and it should be something that is incredibly personal to the relationship you had together. Ways to Celebrate Your Pet's Life When we say goodbye, we often do so by celebrating a pet's life who has passed on. Most people take the opportunity to share their favourite memories of the pet they have lost and pay tribute for all they did in their lifetime. The same is true when saying goodbye to our beloved people, so in essence, the ways to remember them can have some similarities in regards to pet memorials; we can celebrate the time spent together with them, and we share our favorite memories of them. There are many ways to remember and celebrate your pet's life after they pass on. Here are some ways to do so. Create a Pet Memorial Garden A pet memorial garden is a perfect way to honor your pet's memory. You can commemorate their life with a ceremony or some type of service in the chosen space, which will help the family and friends who were also close to your pet have some closure about the loss. If you don't want to do something that formal, you can simply create a pet memorial garden for them. This could be something as simple as setting up an area in your garden where you can leave items that remind you of your pet, like their favourite toy and food bowl. This type of shrine will help keep their memory alive for you as well as for others who knew them well. Find a New Friend Getting another pet can be one way to get over the loss of an old friend, but this isn't always possible. However, if it is, then it can be the perfect way to remember them and have another pet in your life again. Other options are also available for those who don't want another pet right away. There are so many different pets out there waiting for forever homes—you could adopt a cat or dog from a shelter or even rescue one from a farm or broken home. Create A Grave Marker Pet Memorial Plaque Even though they're not here anymore, our pets want us to move on with our lives and not dwell sadly on the past too much. They would want us to continue living and enjoy life after they leave this world. An excellent way to make sure we're doing that is by creating a permanent grave marker pet memorial plaque to show that they will never be forgotten, and their final resting place is marked in honour of them. A permanent pet memorial will allow you a specific place to be to reflect on the pet you have lost. Depending on where this is, you can leave pet memorial gifts or tell them your secrets, just like you may have done if they were still with you. Keeping Your Pet's Memory Alive The most crucial step in mourning your pet is getting them a proper burial or cremation. To do this, you will need to find a spot for them to rest. The best place for their final resting place is somewhere close to you—it's a place they are familiar with and should be comforting for you. You might want to consider putting up a pet memorial stone or planting flowers where they used to enjoy spending time. Another option is to donate your pet's favourite toy or blanket or purchase one of their favourite treats and save it as a treat for another animal friend in the future. You can also have a celebration of life ceremony like you would for human family members. This can be done but burying your pet, giving them an honorary headstone, or holding an event where you tell stories of how they impacted your life. There are many ways to commemorate your four-legged family member and keep their memory alive in both happy and sad ways. Donate In Their Honour Recently, you lost your pet. You're heartbroken, but you know that this is an opportunity to give back in a way that will make an impact on someone else's life, so why not donate? When you are amidst losing a pet, it can be hard to know what to do with all of the pain and sadness. One option is to donate money or goods in their honour. Your donation will help a charity or non-profit organisation continue its excellent work. Giving back can provide some closure for your grieving process, and it might also help someone else who is struggling with the loss of their pet. Conclusion We know that the loss of a pet is an emotionally challenging situation. The memories of losing your pet may feel so raw it's hard to even think about anything else. The best way to cope with this is by finding ways to celebrate your pet's life and keep their memory alive by finding ways to celebrate your pet's life. This may include holding a memorial service, planting a pet memorial garden, or making a personalised pet memorial gifts. Such as dog memorial gifts or cat memorial gifts. There are also alternatives to traditional memorials, such as creating a permanent reflection space, donating to a charity in your pet's honour, or even by volunteering at an animal shelter. However you decide to celebrate your pet's life, try to find a way that complements you and your pet's personality. You'll be able to keep the good memories of your pet alive and live with their memory for years to come. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
Unique Ideas for Mother's Day Memorial Gifts

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Unique Ideas for Mother's Day Memorial Gifts

by Julia Bochenski on Feb 11 2022
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] How To Remember A Loved And Missed Mother or Mother Figure On Mothers Day Mothers day is a day to celebrate the memories we've made with our mother or mother figure. This day is a time to reflect on those precious memories and come up with great ways to honour the mother or mother figures that we've lost. Mothers day can be difficult, but there are some ways you can make it memorable by remembering your loved one in a unique way. There are many different ways memorial and remembrance gifts can be given, made, and received. While this process of giving, making, and receiving gifts may seem like something you are not ready to do, it can really help in the processing and healing from losing that special lady from your life. The gifts, or remembrance givings, as we like to call them, are not meant to be offered or received as a replacement for losing your mother or mother figure on mothers day, but more to aid the memories you have together, through the trials of life, the bumps in the road in the relationship bond and more importantly, the smiles and love you shared together in the times that you will hold in your memory box of your life, and theirs. While a lot of people would automatically give or receive an extravagant piece of jewellery or something special they owned while they were alive, which is not wrong by any means, you could also create memories of their life and put it in a physical or experience format, so there is more of a more visual reminder of their precious memories, for instance. These ideas are all creative and unique ways to remember your loved one on this day, and if you're looking for more special and unique ideas, read on. Here are some interesting options for memorial gifts to remember your mother or mother figure on mothers day. Memorial Gifts To Remember Mum Photo Montage You can make a remembrance gift of a photo montage of your loved one's life and put it in a frame for the family. This gift would be a touching way to remember your loved one, as well as a great conversation piece around your loved one when you have guests over. This type of gift has so much more meaning than it does expense, and it can be something that you and your loved ones can look on in many years to come with fond memories. Keepsake Clothing Items Everyone always remembers a beautiful or favourite piece of clothing that reminds them of their mother or mother figure. That favourite piece of clothing, maybe a scarf or even a cardigan, could be made into a memorial gift like a unique cushion or even an outfit for a bear to remind you of them. This can be such a massive comfort around mothers day and can be especially useful for younger family members to have to remind them of the loved one they have lost.  Keepsake Ashes Jars Another option is to make up small jars with the ashes in them and give them away as gifts to collectively share them in public places such as parks and beaches to facilitate remembering mum. These gifts would be creative ways to remember your loved one, and they would be something that the whole family can reflect on for years to come. The jars can be made to a really incredible personal level, so they represent the mother or mother figure they have lost: The fabric seal toppers can be spritzed with their favourite scent. The jars can be decorated with their favourite colours. They can even have personalised message labels attached to the jar, reminiscing the favourite memory you have or the message you'd like to leave her. So personal and so sentimental. Ashes Into Jewellery While we are looking at including ashes in memorial gifts or keepsakes to remember your mother or mother figure or gifting to someone who has lost theirs, we are looking at a more permanent memorial of the lady who has been lost. In recent years, turning the ashes of a loved one into a piece of jewellery as a permanent and wearable comforting memorial has become so popular, and we can see why. For instance, a Necklace for ashes would be made to incorporate the ashes of your mother or mother figure inside a beautiful necklace and specifically designed so it can be worn as a reminder of your lost one, but always holding them close to your heart as they are right there in life with you, immortalised in a piece of jewellery. This is such a comforting idea as a memorial gift and can bring great comfort to those people who have lost their mother or mother figure. Baking Gifts And Memorial Meals While this may not seem much like a physical gift to memorialise your mother or mother figure or to offer someone who has lost theirs, this can be such a touching memorial to both yourself and to your friends and family to remember that special lady on the day that is designed to belong to her. Memorial meals can be arranged ahead of time to ensure those who wish to attend can do so. You can create the menu to be all about your mother or mother figure or gift the experience to someone who has lost theirs. The meal can consist of everything your loved one either loved to cook or cooked for you or their family. The table can be made up with their favourite colours, and you can reminisce and share the cherished memories together. What better way to spend mothers day remembering mum. Plant A Tree Or Create A Garden Planted In Their Memory. We all want to make the memory of our loved ones feel special on mothers day. One of the best ways to do this is by creating a memorial garden or planting a tree in their memory. A memorial garden can offer your family and friends an escape from everyday life, and it will be a place where you can go and reflect and remember them. It's can a beautiful or a simplistic place of reflection place with flowers, trees, and even water features. Conclusion Memorial gifts are given for a mother or loved one who is no longer with us and are especially important on mothers day. It can be challenging to do, but what better way than this day of reflection and honouring? There are many ways memorials can be given, from making and receiving sentimental pieces of jewellery to providing a meal for your friends and family, just as the matriarch would have cared for everyone. However, suppose you're not ready for that yet. In that case, there is always something expressive and meaningful that you can give your loved ones as a remembrance gift on Mothers Day. These givings aren't meant to replace losing your close family member or friend- they serve as another memory made together through tough times -but they will help heal those people affected and enhance the great memories even more.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
How To Plan A Funeral For A Loved One

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How To Plan A Funeral For A Loved One

by Julia Bochenski on Jan 20 2022
When A Loved One Passes Away, How Do You Plan A Funeral For Them Correctly? Introduction There never seems to be a good time to discuss funeral arrangements when a loved one passes away; however in this difficult time, it is something that has to be done relatively swiftly after their death. It is really important to mention that it is entirely ok to have no experience in planning funerals. It is certainly not a task that most people do on a daily basis, and it is also completely acceptable to feel overwhelmed with everything that can be covered in funeral arrangements. When you experience loss, it can be challenging to know where to start when you are asked How to plan a funeral for a loved one, as there is likely to be a multitude of emotions and feelings that are incredibly new and confusing, and that’s ok to feel that too. Planning a final funeral for your loved one can be pretty straightforward. Still, on the other hand, it can appear like one of the most monumental tasks of all, and the difference between the 2 options can come down to knowledge of the loved one you have lost. If you know their wishes in how they would like to leave this world concerning ceremonial arrangements, or even if they have a comprehensive will that spells everything out in detail, then the funeral planning can be incredibly simple to execute. Of course, it goes without saying that some specific elements need covering when it comes to planning a funeral for a loved one. This process should be guided wholly by the funeral provider you choose to use or the organisation that has the authority to carry out the funeral plans. We will discuss some of these here. What Plans Did Your Loved One Have In Place? When you are looking at the particulars of How to plan a funeral for a loved one, it is crucial to know whether they had any existing arrangements in place as preparation. These plans could be contained within: A Last Will and Testament- This is often a legal document that will lay out the arrangements for the person when they pass away. It can include the distribution of personal possessions, assets, and finances. Still, it can also lay out arrangements for their funeral and whether they are paid for as part of insurances or pre-payment agreements. Funeral Plan Policies- This is extremely important to know whether your loved one has a funeral cover with a private organisation that they pay or have paid into (often called prepaid funeral plans) to ensure their funeral arrangements and particulars are taken care of. Spoken Word Arrangements- It may be the case that you and your loved one talked about what should happen in the event of their death, and this can be something that you would decide when planning their funeral. This could be choosing their favourite songs, colors, and even the order of service. There is a lot to cover when to comes to funeral planning for a loved one. Did Your Loved One Request A Burial or Cremation? When you are looking for information on How to plan a funeral for a loved one, it is important to know whether your loved one had prepared for a burial (where they are placed in the ground in their casket, and often have a headstone to display their information) or whether they had planned a cremation (where they are burned and their remains are turned to ashes). If your loved one is due to be cremated, there are many more options for remembrance. Of course, this can be similar to a burial plot in a garden of remembrance. However, you can take the ashes anywhere. It’s pretty common for the remaining family or spouse to take ashes to the deceased favourite spot to decanter, or indeed turn their ashes into rings to keep them with you every day. There is certainly no wrong choice with either option unless a definitive decision has already been made. It’s essential to make a decision based on the person you have lost and what’s best for them if there have been no choices made prior to the event. Did Your Loved One Have A Chosen Funeral Home? There is so much more freedom of choice when it comes to using a funeral home and funeral director these days. Again, unless there is anything particular stipulated in any pre-death paperwork or known plans, there are so many choices when it comes to allocating the person and organisation to prepare your loved one before and during the funeral arrangements. Often, a funeral home and the funeral director will be based in the same organisation. It may be chosen as it has connections in local areas or previously deceased family member connections. The funeral director and the funeral home will be the people that deal with the finite details of the funeral of your loved one, payments/funeral costs, and auxiliary arrangements if needed, such as cars for attendance, floral tributes, and casket details. The final arrangements could potentially be the most challenging part of all when looking at how to plan a funeral for a loved one. The funeral home and director will want to go through every arrangement in detail to ensure the final ceremonies are carried out in line with any wishes made. They may also wish to know about your loved one to gain an insight into what kind of person they are to draw up any eulogies or spoken information at the funeral itself. It may be best to write things down to ask or mention the funeral home. In the height of the grief and overwhelm, it’s common to forget things and passover information you may need to mention next time. What To Think About When Planning A Funeral It is essential to mention here that the planning of every funeral is different, and any arrangements should fall in line with your loved ones’ personal requirements, if there are any. Otherwise, it is important to do whatever fits your loved one and what they will appreciate. Some things to potentially think about when planning a funeral are: The funeral announcement The clothing for your loved one A eulogy Any other speeches The music for the service Any imagery to be displayed throughout Friends and family to accommodate Dress code and special dress requests Times and location of the service After-funeral arrangements Of course, this is most certainly not an exhaustive list, and there could be many more or much less to plan and think about when you are looking for what to include in your loved ones’ funeral arrangements. Conclusion Knowing how to plan a funeral for a loved one can be one of the most emotional stressors of losing someone you love. In an already emotional time in life, the process of planning a funeral may seem like that one step further to overwhelm. It’s ok to seek assistance and guidance from those who can give you the most impartial help. Of course, planning a funeral for a loved one will be made easier if there have been plans or arrangements left behind to guide the process in line with the requirements and wishes of your loved one. Still, if there are no such plans or arrangements, then the guidance will always be what you think is most fitting yo your loved one. Emotionally, there is nothing quite like planning a funeral for a loved one. It is ok if you need to take extra time to gather your thoughts, write things down and ask questions; there are professional funeral directors who can guide you without hurrying through everything that may need to be covered. The most important elements to remember when planning a funeral for your loved one is to take things slowly if you need to, ask many questions and make sure that the wishes of your loved one, both official ones and the unofficial ones, are taken care of in their final moments.
How To Help A Friend Who Is Grieving

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How To Help A Friend Who Is Grieving

by Julia Bochenski on Dec 10 2021
The Best Guide On How To Help A Friend Who Is Grieving From Loss Introduction When we are looking at how to help a friend that is grieving, we have to understand that they are often feeling such a multitude of emotions. It is sometimes difficult to know exactly how to help them. It is essential to understand that grief affects each person in different ways. While some people might outwardly show their emotions and distress without a barrier, some others might feel everything inwardly and display nothing but an exterior of confidence and control. While we believe we know our friends, we often see that grief changes a person almost from the instant they lose someone dear, so acknowledging this should also be a huge consideration. We can do many things to help a friend who is grieving. Some of the suggestions we are about to share might be more applicable at different stages of grief over others. It's essential to also be mindful of the stage of grief they may be in and the appropriateness of the assistance. So what are the best things we can do to help and offer support to a grieving friend? Let's have a look. Take Time To Listen Having a connection with a person who is going through the grieving process is something that is so powerful, and having the ability to listen will be appreciated by your friend. There is a time and a place to be generally conversational; however, during the grieving process, a listening ear is something that will enable your friend to speak freely with no judgment. Often, no dialogue from your side will be necessary. The strongest element of a conversation is listening, which is particularly important when communicating with your friend who is experiencing very mixed emotions and feelings of loss. Learning how to help a friend that is grieving Through the action of listening may not always be straightforward. The flow of the words from the person grieving may not always make sense, and they may jump from one memory to another when talking; however, it doesn't really have to make sense to you. The words they are speaking will inevitably help them through their grief, and just knowing that someone is listening to all of the happy and sad memories and feelings equally can be enough. Encourage Normality While this may seem like something most people may feel uncomfortable in trying, it may need to be encouraged at certain stages of the grieving process to avoid the person from getting into a negative mindset that can't then be changed. When we are looking to encourage normality, we mean encouraging your friend or loved one to engage in the elements of daily life they did before the loss, no nothing too extravagant and nothing new. If your friend or loved one visited a cafe for tea and cake on a Tuesday morning, for instance. If you have noticed that they haven't been for a while, you may like to encourage them to re-start this to provoke a bit of normality. Encouraging normality when looking at how to help a grieving friend who lost a spouse is particularly powerful, as they will have lost the other half of their lives, which may leave them feeling like their purpose in life has also gone. Of course, it hasn't, but they may see it like this, so it is always important to remind them that their life continues. Reassurance Offering reassurance to a Good friend who has lost someone they love can be one of the best things you can do to provide support. It is essential to reassure your friend that whatever they are feeling and experiencing is completely ok and normal to feel at every stage of the grieving process. Sometimes, people who are experiencing loss can "put up a front" to stop others from seeing the pain they are feeling, so it's important to reassure them that whatever they are thinking and feeling (with the exception of having thoughts of self-harm) is all part of the grieving process. Facilitating your grieving friend to allow them to freely feel and show emotion whenever they need to will encourage them to go through the grieving process without fear of judgment or apprehension of being perceived as weak, so it's crucial. Suggestions Of Remembrance When you are looking at how to help a friend that is grieving, one thing that is often forgotten is offering suggestions of remembrance to create a focus on remembering the person they have lost more permanently. This may be something that is not an immediate thought for them as they go through the stages of grief. Still, once they are ready to remember their loved one in a more permanent fashion, they will be thankful that you have been thinking about it on their behalf. Some permanent remembrance ideas may include: Memorial Garden - A memorial garden can be created as a place to reflect on the person they have lost and as a commemorative area for friends and family to visit. Ashes into rings- This is an extremely popular as a way of keeping a loved one beside them all the time, by turning some of their ashes into jewellery such as rings, which can bring immense comfort. Memorial Bench - A memorial bench or item of personalised reflection. This can provide a place of reflection and solace for your friend to go and remember the person they have lost. Nutrition & Sustenance Sometimes, you may feel at a loss with how to help a friend that is grieving. However, here is this lovely tradition that food is made and brought to them when someone in the community is in need. Why is this appropriate here? During loss, it's often so easy to forget ourselves, and life takes on a whole different dimension to the norm. There are new things to do and focus on, and time seems to run away with us, so it's essential to provide some practical support by way of a gentle reminder (and provisions) that keeping up optimum nutrition and sustenance is crucial during grief. This element of providing food as a way to offer support to a friend who is grieving can be most welcomed as they may not have thought about themselves or have been carried away in grief. Again, the offerings do not need to be extravagant. Some straightforward things to do are: Make sure your friend has things in their fridge to make healthy snack-style meals, such as simple sandwiches or a salad. Make sure they have fresh fruit available for healthy snacks. Provide small re-heatable meals, such as lasagne or cottage pie, that can be used when needed. Ensure they have a small shop delivered regularly, or even accompany them shopping to assist in that way. With so many emotions that are felt after the loss of a loved one, it is really easy to forget about yourself, so having a friend's support in a practical way will make sure that they at least have things available to provide for themselves and receive some much-needed sustenance. Conclusion It is such a different experience from everyday life when someone loses someone they love. Knowing how to help a friend that is grieving be challenging to begin with, but looking for cues in your friend's language and behaviour may give you some indication of what they need. Everyone feels grief differently, so it's important not to dismiss anything they may say or how they are feeling, but to provide them with a non-judgemental listening ear or practical support at a time when they need it most will be most welcomed. People who have lost someone dear will undoubtedly feel very vulnerable and lost indeed. Hence, it is essential to ensure they do not feel isolated while providing them with the space they need too; it can be a delicate balance. If you are unsure about how to provide support, just make sure that they are catered for in the areas they may lapse due to all of the changes, such as company, nutrition and a reminder that whatever they are feeling is totally ok and that you are there to support them in any way you can. Hold their hand, let them cry, or help them create a lasting reminder of the loved one they have lost. A little human interaction and comfort are sometimes enough to let them know you are there and you care.
How Grief Affects The Body

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How Grief Affects The Body

by Julia Bochenski on Nov 10 2021
With The Feeling Of Grief Being Almost Immediate At The Time Of Loss, How Does This Immediate And Continued Grief Affect The Body? Introduction The spectrum of grief falls into so many different areas of life, including physical and mental aspects, which may or may not be detected at the time. Grief gives a majority of people an uncontrollable feeling of overwhelm, almost as if the loss has pinned them to the spot where time and everything else is moving so fast around them. Overwhelm can be incredibly daunting, both at the time and potentially for many weeks and months after the initial loss. Although it is widely understood that grief is a series of emotional responses to the loss of a loved one, in reality, grief is a holistic process that encompasses both mental and physical responses. Some are involuntary and unnoticeable until the worst of the grief has been experienced, and hindsight comes into play. When we look more at how grief affects the body, we talk about how the body can react in line with the emotional responses that grief can provoke. We, of course, appreciate that grief affects every person who encounters a sad loss in very different ways, and this is by no means an exact blueprint of what can happen or what you can expect to experience following a loss. Still, it is, however, a good indication of some of the potential physical responses that grief can have on the body. Your Weight Can Fluctuate Dramatically Grief is one of those feelings that contains so many other groups of emotions, and the complexity of the feelings as a whole can be incredibly overwhelming. When the emotions attached to grief are so changeable daily and even hour by hour, it can be challenging to focus on other aspects of life; even the essential ones such as eating a meal. Weight fluctuations are incredibly common in those experiencing the loss of a loved one. The body will likely fall into two different “pre-sets” when it comes to eating; it will either be ravenous for comfort from the hurt that is being felt, guiding the bereaved into the solace of food to fill a void, or It will switch off the appetite altogether as it will recognise eating as a “non-essential” task at that moment, and even create a feeling of nausea when food is thought about. There is no telling which one will flag up first, or even if the emotional responses will trigger them at all, but what is helpful to know is that either can be considered normal in the short-term following the initial grief. Over time, these default settings may start to ease, and your body will begin to behave more rationally when it comes to eating efficiently following a loss. It is best to try as much as possible to avoid over or under-eating, as this is likely to make you feel poorly yourself, which is something no one wants. Try little bites of healthy food every 2 hours, make sure your fluids are kept on top of to stay hydrated, and try a little light walking every so often to try and build up a little appetite to regain some strength and control. Altered Sleep Patterns Altered sleeping patterns can be a huge factor when looking at how grief affects the body, and the patterns (or non-patterns as the case may be) of sleeping and quality rest may become dramatically changed from what you are used to. Sleep may be one of the physical responses that you have no immediate control over and one response to grief that can last for a long time after the initial loss has occurred. Sleeping can be affected in a variety of ways following a loss, including: Over-sleeping- the automatic inclination to sleep through the pain and grief, which results in minimal waking hours throughout 24 hours, and you feel exhausted throughout the waking hours. Under-sleeping/insomnia- This could result from worrying about what’s going to happen next, what needs to be completed, or even fear over what the future is going to hold. Broken and Disturbed Sleep- Broken and disturbed sleep is incredibly common during the days, weeks, and months after experiencing a loss and is a widely felt side-effect of grief. The unusual sleeping regime is part of the cycle that repeats the notions of “Too tired to stay awake but too awake to go to sleep.” When you are experiencing grief, sleep is one of the elements of your life that can be severely affected, and sometimes, you do not even realise that your sleeping routine has changed until it has happened for a while. A regular sleeping routine can be incredibly difficult to get back into. It can be beneficial to try some natural sleep techniques if you are finding that you are achieving very little natural sleep. You could try such things as warm drinks before bed, a relaxing bath, lavender essence in the bedroom, and maybe even some guided meditation for sleep on audio. Suppose you are finding that you are over-sleeping and cannot achieve being awake for some time. In that case, you may like to try something that increases the adrenaline in your body to give you some gradual endurance, such as a brisk walk or some housework that puts you a little out of puff. These may seem like the last things you want to do, but a little every day will help to regulate an estranged regular sleep pattern. Altered Levels Of Concentration While we are talking about how grief affects the physical element of your holistic self, we also need to consider how grief affects the mind. As we have seen, grief can be an overwhelming experience, even for the toughest of the tough, and this can, in a majority of experiences, affect your levels of concentration while carrying out everyday life. Elements of concentration that can be affected may be: Not being able to follow the flow of a conversation Being spoken to and not actually hearing anything that anyone said Feeling in a “void.” Losing focus on the things you usually take pleasure from Not being able to make decisions Daydreaming or regressing Forgetfulness As well as everything here, grief can also play tricks with the mind, and it is believed that there are some aspects of the brain that replay significant memories and sounds associated with the loss of a loved one. This replay and recall element can affect concentration immensely if you see something in your mind’s eye or hear a sound that provokes thoughts regarding the person you have lost, and it can knock you off course. It may be helpful to try some straightforward mindfulness techniques to ensure that everything you are doing is relevant and necessary. Grief is challenging, and it’s always advisable to only do what you can manage and what is required during the early stages of grief. By making sure everything you are trying to achieve is deliberate and needed, you may be able to improve your levels and depths of concentration little by little. Seeking Comfort You may find that your loss may trigger feelings of needing to constantly seek comfort from and be physically close to the people who were closest to the person you lost. These feelings can feel a bit overwhelming if you have not had them before. Seeking comfort can be a way to express that you are feeling lots of grief while connecting those feelings to the people who meant the most to them, in a way to feel close to the person you lost to. Suppose comfort is something you are seeking, which is a totally normal emotion to feel. In that case, you may find that having the ashes of the person close to you always will serve as some of the comforts you are looking for. Turning ashes into jewellery is a really great way of providing comfort consistently as you will be wearing the jewellery with the ashes inside, so not only does it look beautiful, you will have the comfort right there whenever you need it the most. Conclusion The degrees of which loss can affect the body can vary from person to person, and what one person may be able to manage, another will find that very same thing breaks them apart. While there are many ways of how grief can affect the body, we are confident that people who experience loss may experience these main features mentioned above in one form or another. The feeling of grief after losing a loved one is a natural process, but it is by no means a carbon copy of structured events for everyone. Whatever you feel, and whatever degree you feel it, you have to know that it is ok in body, mind, and soul. It is ok to feel it and acknowledge that we are feeling it, and that is the magic part where the healing begins, and the light at the end of the line can reappear slowly but surely. Be aware of consistent irregular patterns in the common areas listed above, which are the main areas where grief can start to affect the body, as this may cause long-term issues with your physical health further down the line. Accepting the sporadic behaviour is normal after loss is ok; however, you must gradually revert to some sort of normality to enable you to return to a normalised routine in life. The body can be inadvertently affected by grief. It can too get overwhelmed in line with the emotions you feel, so it is essential to take small steps towards making sure that when the deep waters of grief become more shallow, you can emerge healthy in your body and mind.
How To Celebrate This Christmas After Losing A Loved One

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How To Celebrate This Christmas After Losing A Loved One

by Julia Bochenski on Oct 20 2021
After Losing A Loved One, Celebrations May Not Feel The Same, But There Are Still Ways To Celebrate Christmas After A Loved One Has Passed Introduction When a loved one passes, it is only natural to assume that your whole world changes. Some elements of life will be changed permanently, and the feeling you get from doing everyday life is inherently different. You gain a whole new and different perspective on life. The feeling of loss after a loved one has passed can be felt in so many different ways. The way grief is felt is such a unique process that it will never be the same from one person to the next. Grief after losing a loved one can make you feel like you do not want to celebrate anything, which is an entirely normal feeling. Sitting alone and thinking is entirely acceptable to do during those times after losing a loved one; however, it is essential to have people around you to celebrate happy occasions, such as Christmas. Christmas is a time designed for togetherness and celebration. Still, after the loss of a loved one, this may be an area that you want to integrate gently and in small sections to make sure that the overwhelm of the occasion and the feeling of grief after losing a loved one does not all come at once. So how can we manage to learn how to celebrate Christmas after losing a loved one? Here are some elements of coping that may help you this festive time. Accept Company Christmas after losing a loved one may feel like the strangest thing on earth. You may feel like there is no point in celebrating when you cannot celebrate with the one you have lost. However, accepting a little company from people you love and trust will really help you to be part of something really special, even if it is only for an hour or 2. Making sure the people, you choose to spend a little time with the know-how you are feeling will help if you start to feel overwhelmed and need to remove yourself from the situation. Start Small There may not be any significant advantage to going headlong into a massive celebration when you are in the midst of the grief of losing a loved one. The ideal way to celebrate Christmas after losing a loved one is to start small, both in regards to gatherings size and time-wise, to ensure that the arrangements are something you feel you can manage. If at any point at all you feel that you may need to withdraw from any plans or celebrations, do not feel guilty for doing so. People who know the situation will understand completely, so dont beat yourself up for at least trying. Have A Dedicated Memorial By organising a dedicated memorial for your loved one with close friends and family, you are allowing everyone close to share a moment to remember the person and the place they still have in your hearts. It can be as simple as everyone lighting a candle together to remember them or releasing a balloon together with a message attached. Memorials allow people to come together to remember the life of your loved one, to support you at a difficult time, and to all be together on a special occasion. A memorial can also be an excellent opportunity to share Christmas bereavement gifts, especially personalised gifts, which can bring so much comfort to everyone who is experiencing the loss. Do Something Special For You When you are looking at ways of how to celebrate Christmas after losing a loved one, it's always best to do something that makes you feel good. The things you can do to make yourself feel better can vary from person to person, but doing something that is just for you will give you a feeling of being human and feeling a little happy about something that you have achieved for yourself and your wellbeing. Some ideas include: Purchasing a special outfit Visiting the hairdresser Choosing some jewellery Taking a short trip to gather your thoughts Of course, there may be more options that would suit you, and none of them are ever going to be bad choices if it's something that makes you feel better. Bereavement Gifting Bereavement gifts are an aspect of grieving after the loss of a loved one that is becoming popular to celebrate the person who is no longer with you. At Christmas, this can help you feel like the loved one is still with you somehow. Gifting yourself something that helps you remember the person you have lost fondly and keep them close to you. You can also consider gifting your friends and family something commemorating the person you (and they) have lost. Christmas bereavement gifts can come in all different formats, but here are some beautiful ideas to gift yourself and others in remembrance of your loved one: Personalised Candles Personalised candles can be a fantastic commemorative gift for yourself and your friends and family as a way to remember the loved one you have lost. The candles can be a way of symbolising their eternal light through a candle dedicated to their memory. Ashes Into Jewellery Jewellery is always a beautiful gift to give yourself and other close friends and family. The gift of incorporating a loved one's ashes into a piece of jewellery that can be worn every day to keep that person close to you is something so thoughtful and comforting. Gifting yourself this option can help the grieving process by having your loved one close to you. Still, it can also be something that you can gift to friends and family members who will also be missing the person who is gone. A Small Ornament A Christmas gift that is dedicated to the memory of the person you have lost can be something very special that means an awful to keep, for yourself and for friends and family. At the festive times of the year, there is something for everyone to leave that special memory in their heart. Personalised baubles, glass ornaments, and gifts such as remembrance figurines can be the perfect choices for small Christmas bereavement gifts. Open Communication When you are looking for ways to celebrate Christmas after losing a loved one, One of the best things you can do is open up the channels of communication with your friends and loved ones. Of course, there may be days where you do not feel strong enough to talk to anyone. Having open communication with the people who love you and those who understand how you may be feeling can positively impact your day. Tell your friends and family that u can make plans to enjoy the Christmas celebrations, but that you may not be able to stay long or you may cancel at the last minute depending on how you feel; they will appreciate the way you are feeling and be supportive. Conclusion Suppose you are looking for some ideas on how to celebrate Christmas after losing a loved one; you can now see that you can implement so many ways so you do not feel isolated, alone and that you do not miss out on the magic of Christmas. The most important thing to do is to do the things you want to do in your own time and under your own instruction to make sure that the things you are doing do not become overwhelming in the midst of your grief. If you are taking part in some elements of Christmas celebrations, it is incredibly important to only do the things you believe you can. It's best not to overwhelm yourself too much when you are already overwhelmed with grief, so make sure you do something to celebrate Christmas little and often. You can still celebrate Christmas after the loss of a loved one by giving yourself and other people commemorative Christmas gifts to ensure that the memory of your loved one is honoured at this special time; personalised candles, ornaments, and even the loved ones ashes into jewellery can all be incredible Christmas gifts to give at a time when you need comfort and care the most. Smile where you can. Talk where you can. And celebrate your loved ones' life during this Christmas period, always.
How To Cope With Grief After Losing A Child

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How To Cope With Grief After Losing A Child

by Julia Bochenski on Aug 06 2021
Losing A Child Is One Of The Most Traumatic Events Any Parent Can Face In Their Lifetime, So How Do We Cope With The grief That Follows The Loss? Coping With Losing A Child Is Difficult To Understand. Ordinarily, when it comes to the subject of grief, we often go through certain stages of grief, between 5 and 7 steps in fact, where the natural process of grief plays out in a natural humanistic process. While this process can be the case when dealing with the grief that accompanies coping with losing a child, the process can be incredibly muddled, and that is totally ok. The loss of a child is potentially one of the most traumatic events that any parent faces in their lifetime, and it is said that we never expect to outlive our children. Unfortunately, it is a reality for some parents, and the grieving process can take many years to get to the point where a normal way of living can resume without feeling intense pain and sorrow. For some parents, those intense feelings never, ever go away; and that is ok too. What Is Grieving? Grieving is incredibly personal, and when you ask people what they feel when they feel grief, it can encompass such a wide range of emotions and feelings, such as: Emptiness Sadness Loss Of Daily Function Cannot Continue Life Without Them Physical and Emotional Pain Numbness Denial Disbelief Grief is a feeling that, as you can see, contains many other emotions, and it can be incredibly confusing and frustrating trying to figure out which one you are feeling and trying to make sense of it. The immediate days and weeks after losing a child can seem like you are lost in a vortex of such extreme sadness and loss where nothing makes sense, and you have no idea which way to turn or which task to attempt to complete next. Hence, it is so crucial that you let happen whatever comes naturally. There really is no right or wrong way to do this, and whatever way you choose to cope, it is essential to feel it in your own time. There are many coping mechanisms a parent can adopt to cope with the grief of losing a child. While in the very early moments of loss, none of these may seem important to deal with the way you are feeling, it really is vital to try and be local and prioritise the most important things first. Talking Can Help You Cope Talking is such a powerful thing to do to start the process of understanding the feeling associated with losing a child. While it may not be the first thing on your agenda, the opportunity to talk to people throughout the grieving process will always be there. Some of the people who can help you by talking may not ordinarily appear as deliberate help. Still, any form of communication will help in the early days and throughout your journey. These people can be: Friends and Family Religious Ministers Medical Staff and Knowledgeable Peers Partners and Siblings Support Group Members Services Like The Samaritans You may find that these incredible services are available in all different formats these days, such as online, in person, or on the telephone, and you may also find it helpful to speak to people anonymously, which is also accepted by most organisations and groups, which can be incredibly useful to express the absolute truth. Online Support Can Be A Great Way Of Coping With Loss Sometimes, coping with losing a child can provoke the feeling of staying away from other people. This can allow you that you need time alone to work through your grief, or even seeing other people with their own children may be painful for you personally. Wanting to be alone is an entirely normal effect of loss, but there are ways you can continue to seek some support via online resources, and these may give you the privacy you need as well as the support you may need too. Very Well Family is a beneficial service that is designed around camping with the loss of a child for all of the family. They can be an advice lifeline, a service that can recommend other local services that can help you cope with your loss, or you can simply read the incredibly helpful information they have available. Child Bereavement UK is a very sympathetic yet practical service that you can seek online that specialises in ways to cope with the loss of a child at any age. They are providers of all of the essential information you may need to help with grief and organisation of affairs, as well as organising events for people who are in the same position as you to create a network of emphatic support. Heal Grief Org Gives some great advice on understanding your grief and allowing you to participate in virtual elements of the process, such as remembrance and lighting a candle, which can bring some comfort when you are feeling at a low point. Social Media Forums- Social media can be an excellent avenue to explore when seeking some online support. There are many groups and pages that will provide excellent information and support from individuals or groups of people who have been or are in the same position as you are. It is essential to mention that these services and forums will all generally operate a “No Judgement” policy and uphold your privacy as the most important concern. Some services you will be drawn to, and some areas may not suit your needs or align with you, and that is totally ok. Finding an avenue that suits you is going to be the one you open up to the most and utilise freely, so although the search can seem like an uphill task, once you find something that helps you in a way you accept, it can be your lifeline to finding ways to cope with grief. Remembering Your Child At Every Stage Only when a child passes away do we realise that we should remember every moment in their life, which includes every milestone, every “First,” and every last. Their journey was precious on this earth, and every moment should be remembered fondly as their journey with you, no matter how short that time must seem. By physically remembering your child can help in coping with losing a child, and you can do this in many ways, such as: Having a memory box created to permanently store all of the precious physical memories to look at in the future to remind you of a really precious child. Make a memorial garden for you and your family and friends to visit and remember your child. Having a remembrance blanket or teddies created from your child’s favorite clothing can be highly comforting for yourself and siblings. Creating a memorial timeline picture, including little snapshots in time that depicts the child’s life through every milestone or every moment they experienced. Turning a portion of their ashes into jewellery, to always keep them close to you. When you are in the midst of grief after losing a child, coping with losing a child can seem like a difficult task, and every day can seem like a battle just to get through. There is help and assistance available to guide you through each stage of the grief process, and everything that is available to you can be sought and delivered on your terms in a way that you are comfortable with. Talking is free, and it can be a really powerful way of interacting with people who are trained to address grief and maybe offer some mechanisms to implement to help you cope solo. At the very least, finding people who are or have been in the same situation as you may be a really helpful thing to do, and by learning from their grief journeys, you can start to figure out your own way forward. Grief is a personal journey, and you are most certainly not alone; if you ever feel alone and overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, guilt, or anything else that takes over you, reach out to someone and talk, maybe write your thoughts down or think about memorialising the memory of your child into a more permanent feature so you know you will have somewhere to go or something to hold that can really help you to cope on the days that seem never ending. You can survive through the loss of a child, and one day soon, you will be able to smile at their memory.
How to cope with losing a pet

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How to cope with losing a pet

by Julia Bochenski on Jul 21 2021
If you have recently suffered the loss of a pet, you will know how difficult this can be. So how can you cope with the loss and memorialising your pet for remembrance? Introduction There is sometimes nothing that can prepare you for the loss of a pet. Whether that pet has been with you for minutes or indeed years, somehow, a pet can become a genuine part of the family very quickly and can provide companionship and comfort in happy and sad times. There is something incredibly special about having pets that makes them become part of the household, and sometimes they can rule the roost too! So, when they pass, it can feel immensely overwhelming and incredibly emotional to get used to life without them in it. We need to learn how to cope with losing a pet while doing some practical things to enable them to be remembered for years to come and remember the happier times when they were by your side. Let’s look at five ways you can learn to cope with losing a beloved member of your furry family. Losing a Pet - 5 Helpful Ways to Cope Create A Memory Box Creating a memory box for your pet that has passed may seem insignificant at the time of the loss, but when you are feeling a little stronger, constructing and filling a memory box for your pet can be a perfect way of reminiscing about them and may allow you to let go a little once the box is closed. Of course, this can be an easy task if you have had your pet for a significant period of time, and you can fill the box with pictures, your pets’ favourite toy or blanket, as well as some of their favourite treats. You can decorate the box with their name, along with any significant dates that you wish to remember. Suppose you have lost a pet that you have owned for a short period of time. In that case, you could still create a memory box for your pet, with their name and significant dates, but if you don’t have any pictures of them, you can write a short description of their colouring, their character, and something they used to love doing on a card and seal it up for the box. A memory box can be truly helpful in remembering everything you loved about your pet and the joy they brought you and show you how to cope with losing a pet by remembering them. Join A Support Group Joining a support group these days is not always about sitting in a circle and taking it in turns to speak your mind or ask a question. Support groups are now places that can be free forums online, in person, or via zoom that link together a group of people who are in the same position as you. This kind of support group allows you to be in the company of people who are experiencing the same feelings and emotions as you, and it’s more than acceptable if you wish to share your thoughts and feelings, or you choose not to; there will be no judgment either way. Sometimes just listening or reading something that someone else has shared can be more than helpful to help you with your grieving, and appreciating the fact that you are not alone can provide a great deal of comfort in your darker emotional times. Here are the top 5 suggestions for support groups that accept any level of engagement but have no judgment if that is none at all. Rainbowbridge.com Forum Healing Hearts on Facebook PetLossMessageBoard.com LetterToPushkin.com PetLoss.com An in-person or virtual support group can be a huge benefit in helping the healing after losing a pet. Plant An “Honour” Tree/Bush Depending on the kind of animal you had loved and lost, it might be appropriate to plant a memorial tree or a bush in their honour, to memorialise them, remember who they were to you personally, and create a place to go to remember them. Your pet may likely have had a favourite spot in the garden, while on their walks or indeed a place they always used to look at from the windowsill, and this would be the perfect designated spot to plant a tree or a bush that can be devoted to their memory that will grow year after year in remembrance. Losing a pet will never remove their favorite spot from your memory, and it may also be possible to get a plant or tree with the same name as your pet, or you can find a favourite tree or bush and have a small renaming ceremony when it is planted. Some common remembrance plants, bushes, and trees include: Roses Ornamental Bonsai Trees Willow Trees Fruit Bushes Cherry Blossom Trees Keeping Their Ashes Close To You Some people find that keeping the ashes of their beloved pet close to them brings them comfort and helps them to remember the companionship they had from them when they were together. These Days, it is really easy to make this happen in 2 main ways, and the one you choose is such a personal choice. Their Ashes In Resin Resin art is incredibly popular right now, and it is a fantastic way to keep your pet’s ashes close to you all the time. The most popular resin option is to have the ashes of your pet combined with the resin and made into a small and decorative frame, so you can then mount a picture of your pet within the very personal frame. Having something physical gives you the knowledge that they are always with you as you look at their picture. Their Ashes Into Jewellery Having the ashes of a beloved pet turned into a beautiful piece of jewellery is becoming a more and more popular option to keep your lost pet close to you. The process is very simple and thoughtful, making sure that a small portion of your pet’s ashes are kept safely in dignified circumstances until it is time to pop their ashes into a piece of jewellery that you have chosen to remember them. You could choose any piece of jewellery available, such as a necklace to keep them close to your heart, or a simple bangle or ring, so you know that they are always with you. Having the ashes of a loved pet turned into something physical you can always keep looking at and keep close to you can bring an immense amount of comfort and security when you feel overwhelmed at the loss. Having something you can see and touch is sometimes a great way to heal the sadness. Keep To Your Pets Schedules and Routines. At the very beginning of grief, you feel a loss that cannot be filed or replaced by anything other than the pet you have already lost. Your pet was likely to have a routine, and this would have been something you had developed together as a unit or amongst your family. One of the best things to do in the early stages of grief is to keep to that routine because losing that too would upset an already terrible situation some more. So, when it’s time to walk, go for that walk. If you had designated feeding times, make sure you stick to those feeding times yourself, and maybe even prepare them a little something to make the loss seem a little less prominent. If your pet had a designated space or a favourite toy or blanket, make sure you keep those things close and safe, and if they had a specific time to play with them or lay down for sleep, make sure you keep those times in your schedule to at least sit and reflect on your pet and understand your feelings around losing a pet. Conclusion Losing a pet can be a really traumatic period of time, and you can feel so many emotions and feelings that can be the first time you understand what grief is and how it feels to lose something close to you. You can do many practical things to remember and memorialise your beloved pet, from talking on forums and virtual reading online of others’ peoples’ experiences and gaining comfort from knowing you are not alone in your grief. By making a small memorial for your pet can also be incredibly healing and will create a place you can go to remember the times you had and what they meant to you. For the ultimate memorial to keep your pet safe and close forever, you can have their ashed set in a resin frame or in a piece of stunning jewellery so they can be with you forevermore. Losing a pet is not easy, and grief can be even more challenging. But with these helpful and practical ways to heal from losing a pet, we hope you can smile someday soon.
How To Cope With Losing Your Spouse

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How To Cope With Losing Your Spouse

by Julia Bochenski on Jun 11 2021
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] How To Understand and Manage The Grief Of Losing A Husband Or Wife. Introduction Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult, but losing a spouse is exceptionally difficult. To lose a spouse affects everyone in different ways, and many stages of grief accompany the death of a husband or the death of a wife. Of course, the circumstances surrounding the death will significantly impact the feeling left behind in the surviving spouse, and these feelings can vary from sadness to guilt to anger. There will be no telling how grief will affect a surviving spouse until the time comes; there is no definitive way to feel or when to feel it. Grief can also be immediate, gradual, or incredibly delayed in appearing. All of this is completely normal as your mind starts to accept the loss of a spouse and adjusts to life with them no longer in it. So, how can we recognise grief? And how do we handle the feelings that appear when they arise? And finally, how can we remember them in a way that keeps them close and represents the memories we have with them? Let’s look at a few of the critical elements of understanding the emotional pain of losing a spouse. What is Grief? Grief is said to be the automatic and emotional response to a loss, particularly referring to the loss of a person who has died. It is said to be felt at its most powerful when a strong bond of affection has been formed with the person who is no longer here. This, however, can vary from person to person, and from circumstance to circumstance, so we understand that grief is an incredibly personal thing to feel, and there is no right or wrong way to handle grief or understand its effects. When Will I Feel Grief After My Spouse Has Past? When you experience the sad situation of losing a spouse, you can feel the effects immediately, and many emotions can come to the surface, such as: Deep Sadness Feeling Tearful Depression Anger Guilt Feeling Lost & Lonely Grief can also be felt by the surviving spouse that is somewhat delayed. This can be disconcerting for friends and family members to observe; it could be that the surviving spouse is waiting to grieve until everything is taken care of, which is common. The grieving process can also be delayed in the surviving spouse, indicating that they have not entirely accepted the loss of their loved one. However, this is also a common process, and everyone copes with the death of a loved one in different ways and at other times of the process. What Are The Stages Of Grief? The grief process has been studied for many years to try and pin down the stages of grief and the possible feelings attached at each stage after the death of a husband or the death of a wife. These five stages of grief are by no means a blueprint to how someone should be feeling at any particular stage. The stages can overlap, be felt more than once, and bring around a cycle of emotions, but they can help highlight the psychological process of losing a spouse. You may also not experience these feelings in the order set out here, taken from the Kübler-Ross model, taken from a book, and adapted over the years to apportion some understanding of the grieving process. The 5 Stages of grief are:   Denial Grief is such an overwhelming emotion, and it is not uncommon to either consciously or unconsciously pretend that the loss hasn’t happened at all, that they will walk through the door as usual. The process of denying the death allows you to have more time to absorb the loss slowly and allows some headroom to start processing it.   Anger Anger is an outward emotion that can hide a lot of the deeper emotions and pain you may be feeling, and it can find a home with feelings such as bitterness and resentment. You can use many techniques to channel anger, such as writing things down to let the rage, out and physical activities such as boxing to release the tension. You can explore some other methods in this Marie Curie Practical Support Information. Anger can be aimed at yourself, at other people, or even at things around the home. Anger also does not always display itself as verbal or physical confrontations; it can also be a deep and tense feeling that can make your body and mind feel like a coiled spring.   Bargaining Bargaining happens in the grief process when you are looking for ways to regain control of a situation and usually occurs when you are at a stage of feeling incredibly helpless or lost. During the bargaining stage of grief, you may find yourself asking “what if” and “if only” self-directed questions in hopes that some sort of clarity can come from a very painful situation. Bargaining is a defense mechanism against the intense emotions of grief. It is an almost automatic way to postpone the deep sadness, pain, and numb feelings associated with the loss of a spouse.   Depression The depression stage is often called the quiet stage and can be tough to manage and fully recover from. It is not simple or explained easily and can feel overwhelming, and you may feel like you cannot cope with doing anything you regularly do. Moving past this depression stage of grief can be very hard; the best advice is to talk with a mental health practitioner for assistance if you can’t shake the feeling of depression. You may also find it incredibly helpful to find support groups and talk with close friends and family about your feelings. Depression is not your final destination in life, and talking can unburden you psychologically and afford you some clarity in your feeling and hope for the future. Social media is excellent for communicating with people in support groups, such as “Healing Hearts” on Facebook. Here, you can share your experiences and know that they will not judge you for feeling low and gain support from people who can empathise with your situation.   Acceptance. The acceptance stage of grief can be very sobering and It doesn’t mean that you’ve moved beyond losing a spouse. It does, however, mean that you are starting to accept the loss and are realising what it means for your life now. The acceptance stage of grief is a way of understanding that there may be more good days than bad, but the bad days will still be there, which is totally OK. Who Can I Talk To About My Grief? There are many charitable services and support groups that offer support after losing a spouse. They are often charitable services that can provide friendly, empathetic, and professional services while grieving the loss of a loved one. The Loss Foundation runs a drop-in service, both in-person and online, for support from people who are experienced in the process of grief. Healing Hearts is a safe and secure place on Facebook that offers a community of support and guidance for dealing with the loss of a spouse. Grieving.com is online and has lots of interactive forums where you can talk about what you are experiencing, or you can just read the most appropriate thread to glean some information to help you through. How Can We Remember Our Spouse After A Death? When we have gone through the stages of emotion and acceptance after losing a spouse, which can take some time and may feel like you are getting nowhere on some days, the most significant thought that arises is, “How can I remember them?” Apart from actual memories and belongings, which will always remind you of them and the bond you had together, it is always fitting to create something in memory of the person who is no longer here. Here are some beautiful ways you can create something permanent in memorial to your loved one. A Memorial Tree or Garden The planting of a memorial tree or creating an ornamental garden can be the most beautiful solution to remember your spouse. You can create a tree or garden in an area of your choosing. A favourite spot of your spouse is often a popular choice, as it establishes their space for you to reflect and remember them. Many churches and crematoriums have ornamental memorial gardens where it is quiet and peaceful. Having a space here to remember your loved one can be discussed throughout the funeral arrangements or making appointments with your chosen place afterward. Naming a Bench Naming a bench after the death of a spouse is popular to those who may have had a favourite spot within a town or village, especially if the person who has died was a huge part of the community. As mentioned, you can place this in a public spot for public use with permission, but it will always be their bench for people to go and reflect and remember the person to whom the bench is dedicated. Memorialising a bench can be simply done by adding a plaque on a bench, which can be organised and discussed with any suitable company that provides this service. Ashes Into Jewellery Ashes into Jewellery is an increasingly popular choice for spouses to remember their loved ones permanently. It involves having a small amount of the spouses’ ashes turned into a beautiful piece of jewellery. The surviving spouse can always wear the jewellery to hold the loved one close and take them with them through their life journey without them. The piece that is created can always be looked at to remind the wearer that their loved one is always close and with them, protecting them and watching over everything they do in life. Whichever way you choose to memorialise your loved one, make sure you do something personal for you and something that helps you cope with the inevitable feelings and changes you will be experiencing. Grief is not clear-cut and is one of the hardest things to go through after losing a spouse.  Still, there are lots of different ways you can find some assistance or company at every stage. Talking helps to understand, and finding common ground with other people who are going through the same experiences can make you feel a little less isolated and alone. We certainly don’t want your grief to overcome you.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
How to spot signs of depression in family and friends

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How to spot signs of depression in family and friends

by Julia Bochenski on May 01 2021
Depression is a mental illness that can affect anyone at any time in their lives. It’s a complex condition to cope with whether you are impacted by it personally or know a friend or family member affected by it. When people have depression, it can be hard for them to openly express how they feel for fear of being judged, ignored, or not receiving the help they need. This fear can force people to put on a mask of being okay and can push them to hide away from the world. Because of this, it’s vitally important to know and understand the potential signs of depression so you can spot them in your loved ones and offer the proper support. With depression on the rise, it’s more important than ever to understand it, what it can look like, and how to offer proper support to friends and family members who may be struggling with it. Clinical depression is a mental illness that involves prolonged periods of feeling ‘down’. It can last for weeks or even months, and it can be recurring for a lot of people – so, for example, symptoms might lessen considerably for a few days before coming back for weeks. Despite having much less stigma attached to it than it used to, many people don’t understand that depression isn’t something that will go away on its own, and sufferers need a lot of support and treatment[i]. What can cause it? Depression doesn’t necessarily have a cause and it can be triggered for many reasons. It might be caused by a series of events in someone’s life or one significant, stressful event. Many people experience depression as a downwards spiral or a slippery slope, where one event triggers depression, and it just seems to get worse from there. Some reasons the risk of developing depression might increase include[ii]: A stressful or traumatic event Any stressful event such as a bereavement, a breakup or witnessing trauma can lead to depression, especially if the person affected by the event withdraws from their family and friends. Loneliness Feeling lonely can make every negative emotion 10x worse, and loneliness is an intensely complex feeling to deal with. Feeling lonely can significantly increase the risk of depression. Read about coping with loneliness and isolation here Illness and injuries When people are ill or have sustained an injury, it usually means that everyday life stops. Their illness or injury may cause them to become isolated, frustrated and depressed. The risk of depression increases even more when the illness or injury is longstanding with no end in sight. Drug and alcohol use The use of drugs and alcohol can increase the risk of depression. Although they may make someone feel better in the short term, the adverse effects are substantial. You might also be more at risk of developing depression if someone in your family has it, or if you have certain personality traits such as being very self-critical or having a low self-esteem. What does depression look like? Depression can feel different from person to person. Although the primary symptoms are the same, they affect everyone’s lives in different ways. It can present both physically and emotionally, and it affects peoples day-to-day lives. On the outside, the symptoms of depression can come across differently. If someone is depressed, you might notice[iii]:   Emotions Someone with depression will have a mix of emotions happening all at once. An outsider might notice the following: They can’t control their emotions They get irritable over small things They seem distant and disconnected Internally, they may be feeling: Chronically sad and upset Suicidal, or that life isn’t worth living Angry and frustrated Fed up, and like they are stuck Guilty for feeling down Avoidance and lack of interest When someone has depression, they may start avoiding many things that they don’t have the energy to do or situations that might cause them anxiety. They could also feel they aren’t wanted or don’t ‘deserve’ to be involved. You might notice that: They try to avoid talking about their lives They cancel all, or most, plans – or just don’t make plans at all They avoid answering questions about how they are They don’t turn up to school, work or appointments Less interest in activities they usually enjoy Physical effects Depression, although widely known as a mental illness, can present a lot of physical symptoms. You might notice: They are always tired They lose weight or have no appetite They have very low levels of energy They might speak and move slower than usual Other symptoms experienced by the affected person might include: Pains and aches throughout the body that can’t be explained Difficulty sleeping, or waking up repeatedly in the night How to help someone with depression If you think a friend or loved one has signs of depression, there are ways you can help. It’s important to remember not to be judgemental and to approach them delicately. They may not even realise that they behave differently and might not have acknowledged their feelings yet[iv]. Speak openly – someone with depression might feel like they can’t talk about their emotions without being judged. If you talk openly about depression and mental health, they will know you are a safe person to talk to. Listen – the best thing you can do when someone is feeling low is to let them speak and listen to what they have to say. Even if they can’t make sense of their feelings, it will feel good to get them out there. Stay in touch – when someone is depressed, they may find it hard to reach out and stay in contact. Try to make time to say hello and have a chat – even if it’s just a text. Be thoughtful – when you’re feeling low, simple, thoughtful acts can make a world of difference. If someone is depressed because they have a long-term illness, ask them if they need someone to shop, cook or clean for them a few times a week. If they have had a recent bereavement, gifting them some ashes jewellery to remember their loved one will help them to feel understood and looked after. Be supportive – when they are ready to get help, support them in any way that you can. Support them in seeking help, and let them know you’ll be there every step of the way. Educate yourself – depression is still very misunderstood. Another way you can help is to educate yourself on what it is to have a greater understanding of what a depressed loved one might be going through.   What not to do It can be easy to cross the fine line between helpful and overbearing, especially when you’re dealing with someone who might be emotionally vulnerable. Before stepping in to help someone with depression, make sure you are wary not to do the following: Try to fix them – because they don’t need to be fixed. Depression can happen to anyone, and making them feel damaged or like they aren’t normal will make them feel more excluded. Force help – if someone isn’t ready for help, the worst thing you can do is try to force it upon them. Just be there when they need you. Invalidate them – don’t make them think their feelings are invalid. Stay away from phrases like “at least…”, and “it could be worse…”. Compare – comparing your experiences to theirs may seem helpful, but it can come across as you invalidating how they are feeling. Avoid saying things like “I know how you feel”, and “we’ve all been there.” Instead, try to say “I’m here for you” and “I can’t imagine how you feel, but I’m here when you’re ready to talk about it.” Remember to look after yourself too When we put a lot of energy into helping someone else, it’s easy to forget about our own needs. Make sure you take time to step back and look after your own mental health. References MIND. (n.d.). Seeking help for a mental health problem. Retrieved from MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/helping-someone-else-seek-help/ NHS. (2021, April). Overview - Clinical depression. Retrieved from NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/overview/ NHS. (n.d.). Causes. Retrieved from NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/causes/ NHS. (n.d.). Symptoms - Clinical depression. Retrieved from NHS: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/ Sources [i] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/overview/ [ii] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/causes/ [iii] https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/ [iv] https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/seeking-help-for-a-mental-health-problem/helping-someone-else-seek-help/
Our guide to creating a memory box

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Our guide to creating a memory box

by Julia Bochenski on Apr 28 2021
No matter how you change throughout the course of your life, you’ll always have memories to reflect upon – both good and bad. Memories are precious reminders of the experiences we’ve had, the lives we’ve led, and the people who have touched our hearts. No matter how unique a memory is, it can start to slip away after a little while as we get older and our lives are filled with work, family and other responsibilities which take up room in the forefront of our minds. Memory boxes are the perfect way to remember special moments, people and fun times in our lives. They are also wonderful to pass down to the next generation of your family so they can learn more about the life you lived and what mattered to you. What is a memory box? A memory box is quite simply a box or other vessel which contains pictures, letters and small items which link to happy, exciting or special memories. Although they are usually kept on a personal level and are added to throughout someone’s life, they can be created after someone has passed away, to commemorate a special event like a wedding, or keep a record of a period of time. Most people who have a personal memory box will pull it out when they’re feeling a little nostalgic and take away or add important memories – or they will keep multiple boxes. What to use for a memory box Many containers could be used for a memory box. Some people might use whatever is lying around, but the more creatively-minded person could purpose build or decorate a box for an extra special touch. Some of our favourite ideas for what to use as a memory box include: A shoebox – if you’re on a tight budget or need a temporary solution, a shoebox can make a sturdy, spacious vessel for your memories. You could paint, draw on or otherwise decorate it to make it more personal. Just make sure it is stored in a safe, dry place, and any photos or papers are sealed within a plastic wallet to prevent accidental damage. Biscuit tin – biscuit tins are notoriously misleading in almost every British household because they are strong enough to use for years after their tasty treats have been demolished. They close tightly and will keep their contents protected. This is another option which can be decorated. Locked box – perfect for more sensitive memories such as personal letters; a locked box can be tucked away safely and out of sight. Just make sure you keep the key in a safe place. An engraved box – a lovely wooden box with an engraved name or message on the top makes a delightful choice for a commemorative memory box or as a gift for someone to start their own. Whatever you choose, they should meet a few criteria: Have enough space to hold everything. Be sturdy enough not to get crushed. Be labelled clearly and correctly. Be watertight or kept away from places they will get damp (e.g the cellar or a loft that isn’t correctly insulated). What to put in a memory box There are loads of reasons why you might want to start or put together a memory box. When you get started, you might have something in mind, but we’ve come up with some ideas for what to put in a memory box for various purposes. Read on, or skip to the bit you’re interested in: Child’s milestones For someone with dementia For a lost loved one Wedding Time capsule Child's milestones Children grow up so fast, which is why it’s essential to keep a record of milestone moments and memories. A milestone memory box will be lovely to look back on with the family when they’re all grown up. What to put in the box Pictures of them as they grow up A handprint and footprint Their hospital bracelet from when they were born An ultrasound picture Congratulations cards from when they were born A coin from the year of their birth Their first pair of socks or mittens Their first baby tooth A lock of hair from their first haircut A milestone book that details their first words, when they took their first steps and more Their first drawing from nursery Getting your child involved with decorating and putting together the box when they’re a little bit older is a fun idea. For someone with dementia Memory boxes can be an essential therapeutic tool for people who have dementia. They can include treasured personal belongings or items which the person can easily associate with their life. Physical objects that can be attached to memories are very comforting to people with dementia as they help to open up conversation about subjects they are familiar with[i]. What to put in the box Photographs of loved ones and places they have lived Packaging of old brands they will have used when they were younger (OXO, for example) CDs with favourite songs Items related to their careers Items related to a hobby they enjoy or used to do Souvenirs from their lives Letters and postcards Coins People who have dementia are generally better at retaining older memories, so this should be considered when creating the box. If they are able, you should make sure they are involved in creating the memory box. For a lost loved one Losing a loved one isn’t easy but putting together a box of photos and memories you’ve shared can be a crucial healing activity to help you with your grief. This is often known as a ‘bereavement box’. What to put in the box Pictures or a photo album A ‘timeline’ of their life Letters Journals Their passport Awards, Medals and certificates they earned Their favourite CD Their favourite book A watch, cufflinks, or jewellery they wore all the time A bottle of their perfume or aftershave When putting your box together, think about the person they were, their interests and what was important to them during their life. People sometimes make a bereavement box for friends or family as a touching gift after a loved one has passed away. Other special gifts to give someone during their grieving period could include a photo album, a piece of keepsake jewellery, or an item made from their loved ones favourite clothes. Related articles: What to do with a loved ones belongings once they have passed away Ways to remember a loved one How to deal with grief Wedding One of the biggest days of your life won’t be hard to forget, but keeping a record of who was there, highlight moments and the love that was shared on the day is a beautiful idea. What to put in the box A photobook of the best pictures Your guest list and table plan Dried flowers from the wedding ceremony Yours and your spouses place settings Wedding favours (if they weren’t edible!) Confetti The champagne cork from the 1st toast The cake topper A copy of the wedding invite A copy of the ‘save the date’ A copy of the wedding service A DVD or USB with videos of the big day You can set up a memory book or box for your guests to leave a special note on the day itself. Many people transform these notes into artwork, but they would fit in a memory box perfectly. You could even go a step further and set up a photo booth where people can record a video message (perhaps get this started before the alcohol starts flowing if you want serious sentiments!) Time capsule You may have made a time capsule in school or with your family when you were younger, and in a way, they are a form of memory box. Why not create your own? Whether it is for your own family to dig up in years to come or you want to leave it to be found by chance, you can have some fun creating a time capsule. What to put in the time capsule Newspapers or magazines with the date on them A note of important events that happened that year Information about you and your family A CD or USB containing your favourite songs Coins and/or pound notes Pictures of you, your friends and family Your favourite book Something to do with your favourite hobby or pastime Remember to make sure the container you use is entirely watertight and that everything you put inside it is sealed well to prevent damage. When it comes to burying your time capsule, make sure the container is sealed with epoxy and wrapped in polythene to prevent water getting in[ii]. What not to put in a memory box Although your creativity is your only limit when making a memory box, you should leave some items out. Often if the memory box is on-going, you’ll naturally remove some items as the years go on because you can’t remember what it represents. Perishables: don’t include any food or perishable items like flowers (unless dried) Bad memories: although it can be tempting to cling onto items for sentimentality, if they have a bad memory attached to them you’d be best leaving them out of the box Fragile items: anything made from glass, ceramics or anything that is easy to break should be packaged appropriately or not included Make your memories last Whatever you are creating your memory box for will help your most precious memories stand the test of time. References Carewatch, 2016. HOW TO CREATE A DEMENTIA MEMORY BOX. [Online] Available at: https://www.carewatch.co.uk/how-to-create-a-dementia-memory-box/ [Accessed March 2021]. Minnesota Historical Society, n.d. BUILDING A TIME CAPSULE. [Online] Available at: https://www.mnhs.org/preserve/conservation/reports/timecapsule.pdf [Accessed March 2021]. Sources [i] https://www.carewatch.co.uk/how-to-create-a-dementia-memory-box/ [ii] https://www.mnhs.org/preserve/conservation/reports/timecapsule.pdf
Coping with loneliness and isolation

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Coping with loneliness and isolation

by Julia Bochenski on Mar 01 2021
Loneliness is a feeling we all have to deal with at some point in our lives, but it is easier than ever to succumb to feelings of isolation and loneliness – even when surrounded by people who love and care for you. It’s a frustrating feeling. You may often find yourself thinking “why do I feel so alone?” and going down a mental helter-skelter of worry and paranoia. The first thing you need to know is that you are not alone, and although it can be horrible to experience, feeling lonely or isolated is entirely normal. Tackling these emotions and their causes is scary, overwhelming, and something many people cannot do without support. But it is possible, and this guide by Ashes Memorial Jewellery aims to help you get through it. Causes of loneliness Let’s start from the beginning and talk about what can cause us to feel lonely. We all live complex lives, and many events can trigger loneliness. According to a 1996 study, these are some main factors that cause you to feel loneliness[i] - Unfulfilling relationships – being in a relationship, or even a friendship, that isn’t mentally and physically fulfilling can create feelings of isolation Relocations/significant separations – this can be either a physical separation (for example, moving away from a person/people) or an emotional separation (for example, breaking up with a partner or falling out with a friend). This cause also applies when someone passes away. Social exclusion – feeling excluded from your community – whether in school, your local area, religious group, or society as a whole, is one of the leading reasons for loneliness. The statistics A wide variety of factors can cause loneliness, most of which fall under the sections above. As such, certain groups are more affected than others. Older people - According to Age UK, In 2016/17 the number of over-50s experiencing loneliness was 1.4 million. This is predicted to increase to a huge 2 million in 2025/6[ii]. They also reported the leading causes for loneliness in over 50s are poor health, feelings of isolation within their neighbourhoods, inability to do what they want, and being widowed or living alone. Younger people - The ONS (Office for National Statistics) reports that those in the 16 to 24 year-old age bracket were more likely to report ‘often/always’ feeling lonely than older age groups[iii]. Gender - Whilst 14% of older men reported feelings of social isolation compared to 11% of women; women feel lonely more frequently than men according to the ONS (Office for National Statistics)[iv]. Health risks of loneliness Loneliness impacts our mental health, but it can also have a degrading impact on our physical wellbeing, too[v]. It increases risk of high blood pressure It can increase risk of death by 26% It can increase risk of strokes, and the risk of developing heart/coronary disease Dementia and overall cognitive decline are more likely in groups that are lonely Surprisingly, it is believed that loneliness is contagious across friendship groups and social networks[vi].   How to combat loneliness Now we’ve discussed the facts, lets look at ways you can combat feelings of loneliness when they come up. Talk & be heard Talking about how you feel is the best place to start. It’s easy to fall into the mental trap that nobody wants to speak to you or help you when you’re feeling isolated, but this simply isn’t true. Reach out to your family and friends and start a conversation. If you don’t feel that you have anyone to talk to, or you aren’t comfortable speaking to people you know – there are plenty of places you can turn to. Here are some of these services: - Age UK ‘Call in Time’ – this is a weekly friendship call service that will allow you to have a chat with someone new The Silver Line – this is a confidential, free helpline that older people can call anytime for a variety of reasons, from advice to just wanting a chat Samaritans – when life is difficult, Samaritans are available to talk any time of the day or night British Red Cross – the British Red Cross run local loneliness services that will help you to reconnect with your interests, rebuild confidence and meet new people Make new connections There is a strong link between keeping healthy relationships and the state of your general well-being[vii]. Making new connections or mending bridges with family and friends who you’ve grown apart from is truly difficult, but it will help you massively in the long run. Joining communities on social media platforms like Facebook and the Nextdoor app, and attending local events like markets can be great places to start. If you’re feeling confident enough, try getting involved in clubs and groups that relate to things that interest you. For example, there could be a running club that meets in a nearby park, or a book club that meet in the local library. Even if you turn up and observe until you feel comfortable, being around others will make a huge difference. Get out into nature It’s a fact that going outside and being amongst nature has a positive impact on your health. A report from the WHO (World Health Organisation) states the following - “Urban green spaces, such as parks, playgrounds, and residential greenery, can promote mental and physical health {…}[viii]” As well as having an overall affect on your mental state, being in parks amongst families, groups of friends and others who are on their own can make you feel ‘involved’. And who knows, you might strike up a conversation or two.   New hobbies Despite what you might think, it’s never too late to take up a new hobby. As well as keeping your mind active and occupied, beginning a hobby (or even re-sparking your passion for an old one) can help you to meet others and make connections over a similar interest. A hobby will make you feel more fulfilled and accomplished. Therapy Loneliness is often more profound than a surface-level emotion. In many cases, it is caused by deep-rooted issues that manifest as feelings of rejection and isolation. If you’re finding it hard to break down your barriers and resolve your loneliness, it might be worth reaching out to a therapist to see if they can help you on your journey.   The symptoms of loneliness - how to tell when someone needs help In this day and age it’s so important to look out for our loved ones and to know when they need help; whether they ask for it or not. It isn’t always obvious when someone is feeling lonely as they may be uncomfortable admitting it and could tell you everything is okay to avoid the conversation. These are some signs or ‘symptoms’ of loneliness to look out for[ix]. Are they always tired or complaining of feeling fatigued? Have they become more ‘materialistic’? Increased levels of shopping and caring more about material possessions could indicate that something isn’t right emotionally, and they are trying to compensate for this Do they make a big issue out of nothing? If someone ‘blows up’ over minor inconveniences or seems more stressed than usual – they could just be feeling lonely Are they attached to their phone? When people feel alone, their natural instinct could be to get an instant ‘hit’ of socialisation by going on social media. If you notice them spending significantly more time scrolling through their news feeds, take time to check in on them Are they spending more time ‘binge-watching’ TV? Watching TV is an easy way to relax at the end of a long day, but it can also be used as a coping technique to ignore negative emotions If you notice one or more of these signs in someone close to you, gently approach the subject and ask them how they’re doing. Even if they say they’re fine, make more effort to get them involved and help to pull them out of their rut. Remember that you aren't alone Whatever is going on in your life, remember that you aren’t alone. These feelings are temporary and there is a lot you can do to get yourself on the right track again – don’t be scared to reach out and ask for help. References Age UK, 2018. All the Lonely People: Loneliness in Later Life. [Online] Available at: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/reports-and-publications/reports-and-briefings/loneliness/loneliness-report_final_2409.pdf [Accessed February 2021]. Cacioppo, J. T., Fowler, J. H. & Christakis, N. A., 2009. Alone in the Crowd: The Structure and Spread of Loneliness in a Large Social Network. [Online] Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792572/ [Accessed February 2021]. Campaign to End Loneliness, n.d. The facts on loneliness. [Online] Available at: https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/the-facts-on-loneliness/ [Accessed February 2021]. Chopik, W. J., 2017. Associations among relational values, support, health, and well‐being across the adult lifespan. [Online] Available at: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/pere.12187 [Accessed February 2021]. Pyle, E. & Evans, D., 2018. Loneliness - What characteristics and circumstances are associated with feeling lonely?. [Online] Available at: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/lonelinesswhatcharacteristicsandcircumstancesareassociatedwithfeelinglonely/2018-04-10 [Accessed February 2021]. Rokach, A. & Brock, H., 1996. The Causes of Loneliness. [Online] Available at: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-38711-001 [Accessed February 2021]. Shaw, G., 2018. 9 subtle signs that you're lonely — even if it doesn't feel like it. [Online] Available at: https://www.insider.com/signs-of-loneliness-2018-6 [Accessed February 2021]. WHO Regional Office for Europe, 2016. Urban green spaces and health - a review of evidence (2016). [Online] Available at: https://www.euro.who.int/en/health-topics/environment-and-health/urban-health/publications/2016/urban-green-spaces-and-health-a-review-of-evidence-2016 [Accessed February 2021]. Sources [i] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-38711-001 [ii] https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/reports-and-publications/reports-and-briefings/loneliness/loneliness-report_final_2409.pdf [iii] https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/lonelinesswhatcharacteristicsandcircumstancesareassociatedwithfeelinglonely/2018-04-10 [iv] https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/lonelinesswhatcharacteristicsandcircumstancesareassociatedwithfeelinglonely/2018-04-10 [v] https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/the-facts-on-loneliness/ [vi] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792572/ [vii] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/pere.12187 [viii] https://www.euro.who.int/en/health-topics/environment-and-health/urban-health/publications/2016/urban-green-spaces-and-health-a-review-of-evidence-2016 [ix] https://www.insider.com/signs-of-loneliness-2018-6
The Ultimate Jewellery Care Guide

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The Ultimate Jewellery Care Guide

by Julia Bochenski on Feb 02 2021
When it comes to jewellery care, there are hundreds of different articles floating around, all claiming to have the best advice on cleaning and caring for your most prized possessions. In this guide, we’ve compiled tried and tested tips & tricks for keeping your jewellery shining for years to come. Aside from normal wear and tear on your most beloved jewellery that you wear every day, there are avoidable accidents that we have all fallen victim to at some time or another! Alongside general cleaning and maintenance advice, this guide takes time to discuss the smartest ways to store your jewellery, and how you can prevent your jewellery from becoming damaged in the first place. Guide contents Preventing jewellery damage Checking jewellery for damage How to store your jewellery How to stop jewellery from tarnishing How to clean silver & gold jewellery Cleaning gemstone jewellery Cleaning & caring for resin jewellery Cleaning mistakes to avoid Insuring your jewellery Preventing jewellery damage Most people have had an unfortunate accident with their favourite piece of jewellery. Whether an earring’s backing has become damaged over time and fallen off whilst out and about, or a pendant has become scratched – broken & lost jewellery can be devastating. Prevent jewellery damage by[i]: - Removing before sleeping, showering & exercising Applying lotions & perfumes before putting jewellery on to avoid getting product on the jewellery (this can accelerate grime build up in links and settings that will become hard to remove) Not allowing your jewellery to come into contact with chemicals - think cleaning products Storing jewellery safely, securely and out of reach of small children Checking jewellery for damage Sometimes damage is caused by wear and tear. This kind of damage isn't avoidable, especially when it's a piece of jewellery you wear every day. You can prevent further damage for looking out for signs that your jewellery needs some TLC before it’s too late. Check stone settings – is the stone loose? Are all the claws of the setting still there? Make sure clasps are still working correctly on bracelets and necklaces Look for weakened links in necklace chains Gently check earring backings (both wire & post backs) to see if they are sturdy Check for too much movement in hinged joints If your jewellery shows any signs of damage, stop wearing it immediately, keep it somewhere safe and take it to a local, trusted jeweller to see what they can do to help. Usually, if you catch the damage at this stage it won’t be too hard for them to fix. How to store your jewellery We know how tempting it is to throw your jewellery on your dresser at the end of the day or to put less-worn pieces straight into your jewellery box until you next need it. It's something we've all done, but there are much better ways to store your jewellery that will not only keep it more organised but keep it looking good for years to come. Separate jewellery types – This won’t just help you when the time comes to accessorise an outfit. Different metals are likely to react to each other when stored in close proximity Keep delicate jewellery protected – some jewellery might be more delicate by design, or it could be more fragile because of the metal used to craft it. Keeping more intricate pieces or soft gold pieces, for example, wrapped up in fabric or inside velvet pouches will help to keep them scratch & tangle free Invest in a good jewellery box – take stock of how much jewellery you have and treat yourself to a proper jewellery box (or two… or three!). If you have a mixture of fine, costume and everyday jewellery, this will make your life much easier. We recommend going for something with a good quality fabric lining that has special compartments for smaller, delicate pieces[ii] Alternative storage options – think about what your greatest annoyance is with your jewellery. If it’s tangled chains, look at getting a ‘necklace tree’ to keep your necklaces separated. If you can’t stand searching for a matching pair of earrings, get a dedicated jewellery box that is specially made for earrings How to stop jewellery from tarnishing In particular, gold & silver jewellery are sensitive to moisture and air and will start to tarnish, or ‘go black’ after a while if not stored correctly. Thankfully, this tarnish isn’t tricky to get rid of (we’ll tell you how later in the guide), but wouldn’t you rather avoid the hassle? Check jewellery is dry before storing[iii] – simple enough! If you’ve been out in the rain or accidentally showered whilst wearing your jewellery, dry it thoroughly before putting it away. This is especially important for silver or sterling silver jewellery Polish & remove grime – Before storing, give your jewellery a quick go-over with a soft jewellery cloth to polish and remove any grime. Lower humidity – The main reason jewellery tarnishes is humidity, so try to keep your jewellery away from humid spaces. An easy trick to ensure jewellery stays dry is to keep it alongside a silica gel packet or two How to clean Silver & Gold jewellery Silver & gold have a naturally lustrous shine that appeals to everyone. Silver & gold jewellery is widely available and makes a popular gift but taking care of your pieces can easily fall on the back burner, and isn’t something a lot of people make time to do. It’s important to remember to handle your jewellery gently, especially more delicate pieces such as link chains and earrings. Cleaning your jewellery is relatively simple. The following methods effectively remove tarnish from your jewellery and get rid of any grime build up.   Dish soap method This is one of the more straightforward methods. Add some dish soap to warm water, mix until bubbled form and soak your jewellery for up to 10 minutes. After this, use a soft toothbrush to get to any hard-to-reach crevices. Rise the mixture off, allow to dry and polish with a soft microfibre cloth (or a jewellery cloth)   Salt bath method Save this method for when tarnish is relatively developed, or there is a bit of grime build-up that you can’t reach with a toothbrush or cloth. For this cleaning method, you’ll need salt, hot water and aluminium foil. To clean your jewellery: Place your jewellery in a bowl and cover with hot water Add in your salt and gently stir it to dissolve Once dissolved, add in a few small pieces of ripped aluminium foil This will cause a reaction that will replace the tarnish with a shiny surface[iv] Finish off by drying and polishing.   Buy a cleaning kit Don’t want to use a DIY method? Jewellery cleaning kits are widely available and easy to get hold of. Take it to a jeweller If the grime is really caked on and you cant get into the settings of your jewellery without causing damage – there is no shame in taking your jewellery to a jeweller for a professional clean. Cleaning gemstone jewellery All gemstones are very different and can require different care. Something right for one could be entirely wrong for another. Mild detergent, warm water and a soft cloth should be enough to keep gemstones nice and shiny. It is essential to research your particular gemstone before you start to use anything more ‘hardcore’ like shop-bought jewellery cleaners and abrasives[v]. Cleaning & caring for resin jewellery Some jewellery has elements that are made with resin (often, companies will use resin to turn ashes into jewellery.) Resin can be quite reactive to chemicals and extreme temperatures, so it’s important you know how to look after it properly. In terms of cleaning, a polish with a soft cloth should do the trick. To avoid damaging your resin piece - Keep away from chemicals under all circumstances. This includes household cleaning products and beauty products like lotion and perfume Resin is not waterproof, so shouldn’t be submerged in water[vi]. Remove your jewellery when showering, bathing and swimming Keep away from extreme temperatures. Very low temperatures can cause the resin to shatter, and high temperatures may cause the resin to become malleable Cleaning mistakes to avoid Although many internet methods can be useful for short term cleaning, they can cause a lot of long term harm to your pieces. Always avoid: - Toothpaste – This is too abrasive and will gradually wear down the metal of your jewellery[vii] Lemon juice – lemon juice is acidic and much more potent than you might think (especially on delicate jewellery & more porous stones) Lack of cleaning – Not cleaning your jewellery regularly can cause dirt build-ups that are difficult to remove Insuring your jewellery Jewellery insurance is often overlooked but is necessary for heirloom and expensive pieces – especially if you wear them a lot. You should insure jewellery against any eventuality, including theft, accidental damage and fire damage. Start taking care of your jewellery today The sooner you begin looking after your jewellery, the longer it will keep its beautiful properties. Start taking care of it properly today and enjoy it for many, many years to come! Do you have any special jewellery care tips to share? References Clark, L., 2016. 10 Mistakes Your Jeweler Wants You to Stop Making. [Online] Available at: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/a37670/mistakes-ruining-your-jewelry/ [Accessed January 2021]. KC Designs, n.d. How do I properly store my jewelry?. [Online] Available at: http://www.kcdesignsnyc.com/jewelry-questions/how-to-properly-store-your-jewelry/ [Accessed January 2021]. Lambert, L., 2020. How to Clean Silver Jewelry in a Matter of Minutes. [Online] Available at: https://www.bhg.com/homekeeping/house-cleaning/tips/how-to-clean-silver-jewelry/ [Accessed January 2021]. NAJ, n.d. Caring for Jewellery. [Online] Available at: https://www.naj.co.uk/advice/Caring-for-Jewellery [Accessed January 2021]. Thomann, L., 2019. How to Store Jewelry So It Doesn’t Tarnish. [Online] Available at: https://www.lifestorage.com/blog/storage/how-to-store-jewelry/ [Accessed January 2021]. Tree of Opals, n.d. Resin Jewellery Care. [Online] Available at: https://treeofopals.com/faqs/resin-jewellery-care-instructions/ [Accessed January 2021]. WikiHow, n.d. How to Clean Your Silver Jewelry. [Online] Available at: https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-Your-Silver-Jewelry#Deep-Cleaning-Silver-Jewelry [Accessed January 2021]. Wykoff, G., n.d. How to Clean Your Gemstone Jewelry. [Online] Available at: https://www.gemsociety.org/article/clean-gemstone-jewelry/ [Accessed January 2021]. Sources [i] https://www.naj.co.uk/advice/Caring-for-Jewellery [ii] http://www.kcdesignsnyc.com/jewelry-questions/how-to-properly-store-your-jewelry/ [iii] https://www.lifestorage.com/blog/storage/how-to-store-jewelry/ [iv] https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-Your-Silver-Jewelry#Deep-Cleaning-Silver-Jewelry [v] https://www.gemsociety.org/article/clean-gemstone-jewelry/ [vi] https://treeofopals.com/faqs/resin-jewellery-care-instructions/ [vii] https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/cleaning/a37670/mistakes-ruining-your-jewelry/
What you need to know about organising a wake

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What you need to know about organising a wake

by Julia Bochenski on Jan 01 2021
Losing a loved one is an extremely difficult moment in one’s life, if not the most challenging one. Often, there is not just grief and an overwhelming rush of emotions to deal with, there are also a multitude of things that need to be taken care of. Funeral arrangements need to be made and that includes the wake. You may be wondering about the wake. One question that often comes to mind is “What is a wake?”[i] In simple terms, a wake is a gathering of people either before or after a funeral. It is a time for contemplation and sharing memories of the life of the deceased with other mourners. The term “wake” may seem an unusual one for a funeral and you may be wondering, why is it called a wake?[ii] The term “wake” refers to the ancient tradition of keeping vigil or watching over the body of the deceased from the time of death until the funeral. During this time, those in attendance would offer prayers and, as it continued during the day and night, the phrase “wake” is very appropriate. In more modern times, a wake can be held before the funeral but, in most cases, it is now more common to be held after the funeral. How to organise a wake Making funeral arrangements can be quite overwhelming and organising the wake may be the last thing on your mind. There are no hard or fast rules to hosting a wake and what you choose to do may come down to your own traditions or cultural background. The entire process may seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t need to be. Try following a few simple guidelines: Create a guest list – This may be the hardest part of organising a wake as you need to know how many to cater for at a funeral. Decide whether you want a wake that is ‘invitation only’ or if you will open the venue to all who want to come and pay their respects. Choose a venue – Once you know how many people will be attending the wake, the next thing you need to decide is where to hold a wake. If you really aren’t sure, you can ask the funeral director for advice. Other suitable venues can include church halls, sporting or social clubs, restaurants or hotels. It is also fine to organise a wake at the family home of the deceased or at the home of a friend or family member. In private homes you can also decide to have the wake outdoors as long as the weather is warm. If you do choose this option, make sure you have a backup plan if the weather changes. Catering[iii]– Refreshments are usually served at a wake, but that doesn’t mean you must serve food and beverages if you really don’t want to. However, keep in mind that some people may have travelled a considerable distance to attend the funeral and with the emotional upheaval many face, it is not uncommon for people to forget to eat. Having food and drinks available to guests may make the day easier for all concerned, including yourself. The guest list will help you consider how many to cater for at a funeral and the wake that follows. Once you know the numbers, deciding on catering will be easier. You can decide on hiring a catering service. This is a great option as the caterer will take care of all the food and beverages as well as organising waiters if necessary.  However, an economical option is to ask closer family and friends to bring food. Most in your inner circle will be more than happy to contribute so don’t be shy in asking for help with food, service and helping to clear up afterward. Alcohol – The decision to serve or not serve alcohol at a wake is a difficult one. Many of those grieving may turn to alcohol in this difficult time and some of the guests may go overboard if free alcohol is offered. Keep in mind that funerals and wakes can be deeply tied with religion and alcohol will not be in keeping with the spiritual side of this occasion. Decorations – There is no need to go overboard when it comes to decorations for a wake. A photograph of the deceased is often enough but you can also have a few vases of flowers on tables or even a few candles. General etiquette at a wake Like every social gathering, a wake also comes with some unspoken rules for those in attendance. The wake is not as sombre as the funeral service and although it is an opportunity to release some of the tension and emotions that are inevitable with the loss of a loved one, it is important to be mindful of those at the wake. Read the room – what is acceptable? In some cultures, it is perfectly normal for guests at a wake to regale others by sharing memories of humorous adventures they shared with the deceased. In other cultures, the wake may be a more subdued occasion so it is important to know what behaviour is acceptable and which is not. If you aren’t sure, take your cue from closer family and friends. What to say to the family In general, the rules are quite simple. When you arrive, your first move should be to greet the family of the deceased and offer your condolences. If they are friends, offer to be there for them in the days following the funeral and the wake. Keep your greeting short. The bereaved need to talk to all their guests at a time when they really don’t feel like being overly social. A simple handshake or hug with a few words of support is often enough. You don’t need to stay long if you find wakes difficult but it will mean a lot to the family of the deceased to see you there. If you can’t make it for personal or professional reasons, try to send something like flowers or a hamper to show you care. What to wear An important decision for guests is deciding what to wear to a wake. In most cultures, black attire is the norm but it is not always necessary. What you wear to a funeral and the wake says a lot about you and you want to appear respectful and considerate. While you don’t necessarily need to dress in black from top to toe, keep your colour choices to darker shades such as navy blue, browns or grey. For men, dark trousers and a dark shirt are fine but if you choose a white shirt, it looks more respectful if you cover with a dark jacket. Ladies can dress in a similar fashion with pants or a skirt, or they can opt for a dark coloured dress. What happens if the family don’t want a wake? Everyone grieves differently and there is no right way or wrong way to get through the harrowing days following the death of a loved one. Although most people will organise a wake, others may not be keen on the idea. This is a very personal decision and not one the bereaved will make lightly. You don’t need to have a wake after a funeral if you really don’t want to and there are alternatives you can consider. Have a short wake before the funeral – This can just include immediate family or close friends and all you need to serve is a few platters of cold cuts or sandwiches with tea and coffee. Immediate family dinner at a restaurant – Essentially, this is a wake but if you really want to keep it low key, there is nothing wrong with keeping it to immediate family. Scatter flowers– Gather those closest to the deceased and go to their favourite place. It could be by a river, a forest or any place they loved. Let each person toss flowers into the water in honour of the deceased. Arrange small gifts to remember your loved one – What better way to remember a lost loved one than to carry them with you all the time? If you want to offer something deeply personal to family members, you can have jewellery made to honour your loved one. From ashes rings to lockets encapsulating a lock of hair – there are plenty of choices for memorial jewellery on the market. For those outside of the immediate family circle, you could put together photo albums, or get creative and give them seeds for the deceased’s favourite flower that they can plant in their own gardens. The most important thing to remember when organising a wake is to do what works for you and your family. It can be a grand affair or a very subdued one. It’s also important to be kind to yourself during this difficult time and you are not failing anyone if you ask for help. Family and friends usually come together during these difficult times and most will be more than happy to help you organise the funeral and the wake. Give your dearly departed the send off they deserve but don’t forget to look after yourself. Reach out to friends for company or a shoulder to cry on and take the time to grieve in any way that helps you. Sources [i] https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/help-resources/arranging-a-funeral/funeral-guides/how-to-organise-a-wake [ii] https://www.legacy.com/advice/what-is-a-wake/ [iii] https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/help-resources/arranging-a-funeral/planning-the-service/funeral-foods